The Florida governor announced the suspension of his campaign Saturday after a disappointing showing in the South Carolina primary. In his concession speech, however, Bush inadvertently set up Colbert by congratulating his competitors “that are remaining on the island.”
“That’s right, this election is like Survivor, but sadly Jeb did not run an Amazing Race,” Colbert cracked. “He just didn’t have that X-Factor and nothing short of an Extreme Makeover could make voters forget his Big Brother.”
Vicious puns aside, Colbert never lost respect for the career tribute with $150 million at his disposal — he did get those people to clap. But the self-proclaimed “joyful tortoise” could not overcome his pathetic poll numbers, leaving Colbert to send him off in the most sensible way: By flushing a toy turtle down a fake toilet.
“Bye-bye,” the host said into the bowl. “And say hello to all the donors’ money!”