Trump Ruins Everything, Next Up: Fourth of July
With seemingly nothing better to do this morning, President Donald Trump took to Twitter to make all Americans dread the Fourth of July, for the first time ever.
“HOLD THE DATE! We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called ‘A Salute To America’ and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me!” Trump tweeted.
HOLD THE DATE! We will be having one of the biggest gatherings in the history of Washington, D.C., on July 4th. It will be called “A Salute To America” and will be held at the Lincoln Memorial. Major fireworks display, entertainment and an address by your favorite President, me!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 24, 2019
Trump has floated the idea of a dictator-esque military parade in the past. So, one can only assume this is an offshoot from that widely-mocked notion. The capital already puts on what the president would call a YUGE fireworks show every July 4th. If past events, like Trump’s inauguration, are any indication, we should ready ourselves for a string of B-list desperate-for-attention musical acts followed by a mean-spirited, gaffe-filled meandering speech from our commander-in-chief, all performed in front a smallish crowd of Trump rally-goers, the size of which will later be lied about.
