It’s only a matter of hours now.
President Trump is well on his way out of office, and by this time tomorrow he’ll be nothing more than a civilian with a security detail. Perhaps concerned about the legacy he will leave, Trump on Tuesday evening released a lengthy video address recounting all of his perceived accomplishments. It’s characteristically delusional, with Trump painting several of his most prominent fuck-ups — from pulling out of the Paris Agreement, to his trade war with China, to his response to the pandemic — as “historic and monumental” triumphs.
It’s hard to imagine a more excruciating way to spend 20 minutes. Nevertheless, if you must:
The video was shared only through official White House channels, as the president’s personal social media accounts were suspended after he incited a deadly insurrection at the Capitol. You better believe, then, that Trump wasn’t going to go out without taking a few last swings at Big Tech. “America is not a timid nation of tamed souls who need to be sheltered and protected from those with whom we disagree,” Trump said. “It’s not who we are. It will never be who we are.”
Trump’s language may seem a tad dramatic here, but it wasn’t out of line with the rest of the address, which was chock-full of grandiose imagery about perpetuating America’s greatness. “This is a republican of proud citizens who are united by our common conviction that America is the greatest nation in all of history,” Trump said. “We are and must always be a land of hope, of light, and of glory to all the world. This is the precious inheritance that we must safeguard at every single turn.”
“The movement we started is only just beginning,” he added, ominously. “There’s never been anything like it.”
Trump saved the most delightful image for last, though: that of him gleefully bounding out of the White House, inspired by the promise of the future he spent the past four years doing all he could to destroy. “I go from this majestic place with a loyal and joyful heart, an optimistic spirit, and a supreme confidence that for our country and our children, the best is yet to come,” the departing president concluded.