After nearly drinking myself to death during the last debate, I’m revising the Rolling Stone GOP debate drinking game. We’re having just 10 rules from now on, and no easy ones.
No more, “Take a shot of bourbon when Donald Trump brags about his billions.” This isn’t a mass-suicide exercise.
This debate is likely to be heavily focused on the president’s State of the Union address and should feature some excellent eye-gouging between Trump and the pride of Canada, Ted Cruz. There are only seven candidates left onstage, as both Carly Fiorina and Rand Paul got the Jason-ax this time around.
Without further ado, tonight’s rules:
DRINK AFTER EVERY MENTION OF:
1. Sean Penn.
2. Farsi Island. “Sailors” also acceptable.
3. Law-abiding gun owners.
4. Goldman Sachs. One shot if it’s regarding Hillary. Two shots if it’s about Ted Cruz.
5. The Emanuel AME church.
6. The Confederate flag.
7. “This president didn’t even mention Islamic terrorism in the State of the Union address…”
8. “When I was a federal prosecutor.” Limit five shots. Chaser if Christie mentions 9/11.
9. Gov. Nikki Haley. Take a double if it’s Trump and he works in a sexist/racist joke at her expense. If he works in both, take an unprecedented triple shot.
- If you feel up to it, drink after every clearly rehearsed joke.