The 47 Funniest Things About Donald Trump
Donald Trump memorably announced his race for the presidency Tuesday.
As part of the launch, he played Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World.” The actual Neil Young was furious and immediately announced that Trump had no permission to use the song, noting that he’s a Bernie Sanders supporter. David Crosby chimed in that “Neil will have him dismembered as soon as possible, which will be no loss at all.”
Could there have been a Trumpier start to a presidential run?
Trump went on to kick off a season of goofball rhetoric with a braggadocious promise to help outgoing President Barack Obama find a good place to golf (“I have the best courses in the world”), a crude swipe at the entire Mexican-American demographic (“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you”) and a bizarre pledge to usher in a new, undead version of our national mission (“Sadly the American dream is dead…I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before”).
The 45-minute speech had more highlights – more on those in a moment – and led to an explosion of online commentary.
Following it all, I posted the following on Twitter:
“Please help me complete this sentence: ‘The funniest thing about Donald Trump is…'”
The ensuing responses made for a pretty fair approximation of a Trump’s Greatest Hits list. For posterity’s sake I’m listing some of the best here.
One note: To make this a representative list, about 70-80 percent of the entries would have to be about Trump’s hair. To avoid repetition, we’ll cut that number down some. Anyway, here goes. America speaks. The funniest thing about Donald Trump is:
1. “This pic.”
2. “The hair, obviously the hair.”
3. “He looks like someone turned Conan O’Brien upside down.”
4. “It’s like that earwig thing from Wrath of Khan.”
5. “His commitment to overcomb any obstacle.”
6. “When he takes his wig off, he’s Sepp Blatter.”
Ed. Note: Good catch.
7. “His hair is like cotton candy. If cotton candy were made of piss.”
8. “The uncanny similarity between this moth and his hair.”
A great many people brought up the resemblance, which I believe was first noted by The Daily Mail, between Trump’s iconic mane-over and the South American Flannel Moth caterpillar. It’s maybe the best “separated at birth” ever. Worth noting, as well, about the Flannel Moth:
9. “Per Wikipedia, ‘This is a very toxic caterpillar that you should never touch.'”
10. (Retweeting the caterpillar pic): “Anyone else thinking Flock of Seagulls?”
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