Not Just ‘Deez Nuts’: 15 Unpresidential Candidates
Last week, a 15-year-old Iowa prankster took the political world by storm after he filed to run for president under the name Deez Nuts – only to wind up polling at 9 percent in North Carolina.
A survey of filings at the Federal Election Commission suggests Mr. Nuts is not alone. What follows are actual Statement of Candidacy filings from presidential pretenders we’re (almost) certain are giving America the business.
1. Dat Ass (Independent-New York)
2. Sidneys Voluptuous Buttocks (Independent-New York)
3. Sir TrippyCup aka Young Trippz aka The GOAT aka The Prophet aka Earl (Federalist-Wisconsin)
4. Underage Candidate (unaffiliated-California)
5. Buddy the Cat (Democrat-Arizona)
6. Captain Crunch (Independent-California)
7. Jeffrey Dahmer (Independence Party-Maryland)
8. Mary Jane (Libertarian-Tennessee)
9. Dank Ass Kaptain Kush (Independent-U.S. Virgin Islands)
10. H. Majesty Satan Lord of Underworld Prince of Darkness (Republican-Texas)
11. Ronald Reagan’s Ghost (Independent-Minnesota)
12. Slim Sack Shady (American Party-California)
13. Jack Sparrow (Independent-Oregon)
14. Not Sure (Socialist-West Virginia)
15. Francis J. Underwood (Democrat-D.C.)