Mitt Romney, we regret to inform you, is on one this week.
The senator from Utah appears to have enlisted his staff to think up a fun Halloween bit for him, perhaps based on something from the televisual-arts industry currently of favor among young people. It’d probably have to be a clean-cut white guy, though. Someone who often wears slacks, too. It wouldn’t hurt if they’re also relentlessly positive even under the most trying circumstances, an appropriate vibe for a senator who seems perfectly content to sit back and luxuriate in the trappings of being a senator as the country and planet are struggling through climate, poverty, and creeping authoritarian crises.
Ted Lasso it is! … kind of. “Clear eyes and full hearts” is a reference to Friday Night Lights, of course. Mitt tried, though.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t all. Romney also tweeted a GIF of himself catching a soccer ball in a hall, another one of him giving a thumbs-up and shouting out Jason Sudeikis, and yet another of him presenting a British biscuit to fellow Republi— err, centrist Democrat Kyrsten Sinema, whose decision to sport a denim vest while presiding over the Senate earlier this week seems to have been born less out of Halloween and more out of not giving a shit about anything.
“She’s one tough cookie,” Romney wrote of Sinema, who is currently doing her best to water down her own party’s efforts to take on the aforementioned climate, poverty, and creeping authoritarian crises.
Biscuits with the boss. pic.twitter.com/tKpiToDWE6
— Mitt Romney (@MittRomney) October 28, 2021
Earlier this week, Romney was in his usual suit, going on Fox News to rail against the Democrats’ proposed plan to tax billionaires in order to pay for some of their social-spending initiatives. Romney, born into a wealthy family and insanely rich himself, opposes this idea, of course, and told Bret Baier that the idea of a billionaire wealth tax is ludicrous because it would lead the mere 700 rich people the tax will affect to invest their money in things like “ranches and paintings and things that don’t build jobs,” instead of stocks.
This is all to say that regardless of how doofily he’s able to affix a fake mustache to his lip, and even though he may not have actively planned the events of Jan. 6, Mitt Romney is a Republican who doesn’t care about poor people, just like the rest of them.