Close Gitmo, Re-Open Alcatraz - Rolling Stone
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Close Gitmo, Re-Open Alcatraz

Kansas’ NIMBYism should be San Francisco’s gain.

For some reason people are queasy about the idea of importing the fat, bearded, mass-murdering likes of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed from GITMO into the United States. Residents near Fort Leavenworth in Kansas, a prime candidate for housing the actual bad guys from Guantanamo, are already complaining.

An immodest proposal: Let’s house them on Alcatraz.

Make it modern and secure. But also keep it open as a tourist attraction.

These guys are not super heroes. They’re not Houdini’s. They’re easily contained. And we should make a show of how toothless they really are.

Plus, it’d make one hell of a tourist draw.

UPDATE: Well it looks like I’m thinking like a Right Wing Republican these days. The great minds of Kit Bond, Bill Young and yours truly had the same half-serious joke. So it goes.

Diane Feinstien has already gone so far as to poo poo the idea, through her spokesman: “These facilities would be suitable for detainees. Alcatraz is a national park and tourist attraction, not a functioning prison, and Senator Feinstein does not consider it a suitable place to house detainees.”


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