All the News That Fits… Living Wages, Illicit Sex, Civil War and More

• Big Oil posts record profits — again — more than $30 billion combined in the second quarter.
• Chicago passes an ordinance requiring “big-box” employers like Wal-Mart to pay living wages; Wal-Mart vows big-box flight to suburban Chicagoland.
• Civil war in Iraq? Donald Rumsfeld searches for an answer: “Oh, I don’t know. You know, I thought about that last night, and just musing over the words, the phrase, and what constitutes it. If you think of our Civil War, this is really very different €¦”
• Republican family values: Senator’s 81-year-old father caught in illicit pizzeria sex tryst.
• Sir Charles is considering running for governor again, but this time as a Democrat?

[With Brendan Fitzgibbons]