A Compendium of People Who Hate Ted Cruz’s Guts
Is Ted Cruz really “Lucifer in the flesh,” as House Speaker John Boehner declared earlier this week, or is he merely — as 38 percent voters in Florida are willing to believe — a serial killer? Based on the way his 8-year-old daughter, Caroline, recoils from his touch, we could easily be convinced of either possibility.
At a rally in South Bend, Indiana, Thursday, young Caroline was happy to dance with her sister Catherine, but scampered away in horror when her father attempted to scoop her up in a hug. Such behavior has become a recurring theme on the trail: At a February campaign stop in Iowa, Caroline flicked her dad away when he tried to come in for a kiss, screeching, “Ow, ow, ow!”
It’s hard to blame Caroline. If your father subjected you to this woman’s singing voice, or divulged embarrassing secrets to the world, like the fact that your first sentence was “I like butter,” you’d probably despise him too. The fact that he’s Ted Cruz — a person who almost no one in the world likes — is secondary.
As Cruz’s former college roommate, Craig Mazin, once put it, “One thing Ted Cruz is really good at: uniting people who otherwise disagree about everything else in a total hatred of Ted Cruz.”
To wit, a treasury of people who really, really hate Ted Cruz:
George W. Bush:
“I just don’t like the guy.”
Bob Dole:
“I don’t know how he’s going to deal with Congress. Nobody likes him.”
John Boehner:
“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”
Lindsey Graham:
“If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.”