Caption Contest Finalists: Vote for the Best!

Okay, so I’ve talked it over with some members of my inner council, and we’ve narrowed down the Kim Jong-Il caption contest to six finalists. Thanks to the over 400 readers who submitted answers, there were some great ones… The only disqualification was the spam-bot answer, “My best friend's mom makes $77 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7487 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here,” which actually made me laugh.  I apologize to Robin Quivers, Bath and Body, Bill Clinton, submarines, my own asshole, Li’l Kim, and anyone else who may have been offended by the various responses. In terms of the contest winner, I’m already leaning heavily in one direction, but I want to see how the people vote – which of these do you think should win?

A few notes here: I put Lumpp’s answer in purely out of respect for the guts it took to go that route with this contest. That’s like the stand-up comedian who sucks it up and dishes out his fiftieth dick joke of the night at the end of his act – sometimes you have to make hard choices, but that’s comedy. Meanwhile, I worry that Lauritsen is actually someone I know, because that answer is irritatingly dead-on.

I’ll be back up tomorrow to announce the winner. I’m also going to put up a new contest tomorrow, an internet scavenger hunt, the prize for which will be two hand-sharpened pencils by noted Artisanal Pencil Sharpener David Rees. In the meantime, could all of our finalists please send their mailing addresses to me at