6. Rupert Holmes - 'Escape (The Pina Colada Song)'
This is the one song on the list that some people might actually appreciate on some level. Holmes was inspired to write "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" when he saw a want ad in the paper. He wondered what would happen if he responded to it, only to discover it had been placed by his own wife. The lyrics originally went "If you like Humphrey Bogart," at the last minute he changed it to "pina coladas," a drink he didn't even particularly enjoy. The couple in the song both agree to meet at O'Malleys Bar, and don't seem all that miffed to discover they were both trying to cheat on each other. Instead, they discover they both love pina coladas, being caught in the rain and making love at midnight. It's like a modern-day O. Henry story. Maybe those should be called O'Malley stories now. Holmes had another hit in 1980 with "Him," but after that his pop career pretty much went to shit. He's had far more success in recent years as a playwright.