"He wants to be forgiven, but he won't regret anything he did," Colbert said. "And you've gotta regret something you did to be forgiven."
Kimmel, who admitted that "part of [him] felt sorry" for Spicer, tried to see it from the guest's point of view: "What if he's privately regretting it, but he's too scared to publicly regret it because there's a big, orange bully who might hit him over the head?" Colbert fired back, "then we privately forgive him."
Colbert and Kimmel also brought out their mutual agent, James "Babydoll" Dixon, to marvel at his natural tan and joke about his cologne obsession. In a scent showdown, the comedians blindfolded themselves and squared off to see who could identify Dixon's preferred fragrance.
"That is musky," Colbert joked after whiffing one sample. "It's like the underbelly of an ox."