Naomi Judd, the singer, actress and author who is also mother to Wynonna and Ashley Judd, was a guest on Bravo's Watch What Happens: Live starring Andy Cohen this week. Judd, whose latest film, An Evergreen Christmas, was released on DVD earlier this month, kept the show's host in stitches with her down-home Kentucky wit and wisdom, and even invited him to spend Thanksgiving with the Judd family. Here are some of the quintessential Naomi-isms and otherwise comical moments from Judd's appearance on the show, which also features Dumb & Dumber To actor and Saturday Night Live alum Rob Riggle.
1. "I personally think the stork was drunk and dropped me at the wrong house."
The daughter of a gas station owner and riverboat cook, Judd told Cohen that it's your "chosen family" that really matters. Her invite for the host to spend Thanksgiving with the extended Judd clan came, she said, because "I worry about you." She added, "I just get an intuition sometimes. I think you're so stinkin' sensitive and you're hyper-vigilant..." Not to be outdone, Riggle then countered with an offer to be a "big brother" to Cohen, with noogies, wedgies and wrestling included.
2. "When Wynonna was a little girl, I heard her telling Ashley one time, 'When nobody's paying attention to me, I can just fart.'"
Judd explained to Cohen and Riggle that her eldest daughter was "a funny kid." Riggle added that she "hasn't farted in a long time then, because people have been paying attention to her for a long time."
3. "We're not allowed unsupervised in public yet."
When a live caller to the show asked Naomi if Ashley was going to run for Senate, Judd said, "I hope not," and noted that she and her youngest daughter traveled to Washington, D.C., with their psychologist because "we knew we were going to run into a lot of sociopaths." Turning more serious, Judd explained that she and Ashley would "just get into the bed and sob" after meetings during which the actress was being vetted for a potential candidacy. "We really want to see this country turned around and these people in Washington are all sociopaths."
4. "I adore her. She made straight A's in school. She says 'yes m'am' and 'no sir.' She's a bright girl. She wears her underwear in public."
When pressured to name one artist who claims to be 'country' but isn't really true to the format, Judd reluctantly agreed upon Taylor Swift as a proper answer. But she was quick to defend the country-gone-pop star, putting her on a pedestal above her 20-something, pantyline-free peers.
5. "She would date Dwight Yoakam when he was opening for us. And I'd be sittin' with a frying pan at 2 o'clock in the morning, 'cause they hadn't come in from the date."
Judd was quick to offer a sympathetic shout-out to daughter Wynonna, as back in the Judds' heyday, she didn't have any peers her own age on the road crew. Wy found a friend — a kissing friend, that is, as her mother implies — in their opening act, who's eight years her senior.
6. "I don't think so. I'm interested in neuroscience in the brain."
When Cohen asked Naomi if the Judds would ever tour together again, she revealed why it probably wouldn't happen anytime soon. She also mentioned that she had recently been at MIT with "the father of artificial intelligence," Dr. Marvin Minksy, studying how music affects brainwave activity. "The next day, I was with the Dalai Lama," she said. To which Riggle added, "I just read a book called Who Farted."
See these clips from Watch What Happens Live here.