YOU HAVE A PRETTY BIG task this year. The general consensus is the last two years of the VMAs sucked.
Honestly, I did not see those shows. But I heard that P. Diddy gave out money, and that was a bummer. So I won’t give out money. Or maybe I’ll give more money. Maybe Diddy didn’t give enough.
Is it weird that MTV gives out video awards when they hardly show videos?
What’s weird is that the musicians go up to accept awards for videos that they didn’t write or direct. Shouldn’t the director be accepting the award?
What do you have planned for your big hosting gig?
I don’t know yet — I haven’t even gone down to my comedy laboratory. Actually, it’s more like a comedy dungeon. You don’t want to be too funny near me because you might get sucked into my vortex of dungeon. I go, “Damn, you’re funny,” and they go, “Aw, thanks, man, that means a lot.” And I go, “Dude, do you want to check out my Xbox? Just go down the stairs, I know it’s dark, just keep going.” And then you’re done. You’re stuck in my dungeon. I’ll come down every few weeks and say, “What do you got? Give me the comedy.” But it’s not so bad, because there is an Xbox down there so you have something to do.
Regular Xbox or 360?
I got the 720. They gave me the prototype.
You only have three weeks to prepare for this show is that nerve-racking?
That’s an eternity. I think of all entertainment things as Little Rascals shows. It always comes down to putting up your little comedy pup tent and putting on a little show. You could do it in an afternoon. I like to go sit in my comedy chair and wait for the comedy nuggets to come.
What’s your favorite video?
I’m going with “Beat It,” because of his moves at the pool table, and his Jheri curl was especially shiny. I’m sorry, I’ve got to switch. Is that OK? I’m going to go Ronnie James Dio, “The Last in Line.” It’s basically him walking around Middle Earth with his Dungeons and Dragons sword singing about the fucking devil. It’s pretty rad.
In School of Rock, your character says that rock & roll was “killed by a little thing called MTV.”
Well, MTV was good for good-looking bands. But obviously some of the best musicians and rockers are butt-ugly, so as soon as you cut away all of those people, your music is automatically half as good as it used to be.
If you look at rock TV shows from the Seventies, everyone was fat and hairy.
Yeah, and awesome. I’m thinking I should make MTV Ugly — MTV for ugly bands. Death Cab for Cutie could be on there. I’m always impressed with a band that gets by without being superpretty. Like, how the hell does Paris Hilton have a music career? It must be her musical ability, because there’s no other answer there. She’s just that good.