Scarlett Johansson and Bob Dylan – you have to admit, that’s a hot couple. Look at her in the tabloid photos, shooting the new Dylan video, riding the Coney Island Cyclone. See that fever in her eyes? We haven’t seen that in way too long. Remember last year, when Scarlett would go for days at a time without saying something quotable about her breasts? That was scary. But it looks like our Scarlett’s got it back. Nobody will reveal the details of the video, but there’s something so right about it. The glow of Dylan is upon her – and these visions of Johansson are all that remain.
Scarlett sure has a way with gents of a certain age. Grizzled geniuses are catnip to her. She got Bill Murray to sing karaoke. As Woody Allen’s designated DILF, she inspired his best flicks since the 1980s. Hell, even Isaac Mizrahi became a slobbering hetero cleavage fiend in her presence. No wonder she gets to play Dylan’s Coney Island baby – it was just a matter of time before he fell under her spell.
Maybe it took Dylan to remind Scarlett how she got famous in the first place. Maybe he inspired her to look in the mirror and say, “Hey, Scarl, the universe isn’t handing out Awesomest Starlet Alive awards. You have to earn that shit.” It only takes a few months of respectability to get you stuck on Julia Stiles Avenue. Nobody remembers The Island or A Love Song for Bobby Long. But will any of us forget the elevator incident when Scarlett taught Benicio what the DOOR CLOSE button is for, and then said, “We were making out or having sex or something”? Never, I say. Never!
But, Scarl, you need to stay on the ball here. This is no time to get cozy. Most important, it’s time to get “It Ain’t Me Babe” on that Josh Hartnett clown. You, the one and only Scarlett, stuck with Mr. Eyebrow Tremble of 2001? It’s like a rainbow dating a DON’T WALK sign! It’s practically inevitable that Dylan and Scarlett should inspire each other to new heights of greatness. As the man used to sing, Scarlett, you’re a big girl now.
This story is from the September 7th, 2006 issue of Rolling Stone.