It’s not even February yet, but already we’ve found our favorite headline of 2009 in the Cape Cod Times: “Brewster Cop Accused of Urinating on Metallica Fan.” That’s the story from Metallica’s January 18th concert in Boston, where an off-duty police officer named Joseph Houston capped off an evening of drunken antics and trespassing by allegedly pissing on a fellow concert-goer. After being asked to leave the concert because he was drunk, Houston flashed his badge in an attempt to get back into Boston’s TD Banknorth Garden. In what was probably not the brightest of moves, Houston also reportedly called a black Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority officer “Obama.”
And then there’s the whole urination thing. The Cape Cod Times doesn’t elaborate on the details, but we’re assuming it went down like this: An obviously drunk Houston really had to go to the bathroom, but rather than miss even one note of “All Nightmare Long,” he reasoned that the appropriate thing to do was to use the poor guy standing in front of him as his own private urinal. Whatever happened, Houston was booted from the venue by 10 p.m., well before Metallica were finished performing, so maybe actually running to use the restroom would have been the better move.
Houston has since been placed on paid administrative leave while all the details of that wild night get worked out. If urinating on someone warrants “paid administrative leave,” we’re really curious what someone has to do to get “unpaid administrative leave.” Houston is due in a Boston court on February 5th to face charges of trespassing. Houston could face more charges if the person he pissed on decides to file additional charges.
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