The Christmas Creep is starting to spread like a rash —and its symptoms are already showing up on the Rolling Stone charts. Even though we’re still more than a month out from Santa’s annual mass B&E, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is already among the Top 100 Songs, coming in at Number 62 for the week of November 1st through November 8th.
Listening to Christmas music before December is like living an eternal weekend: fun at first, but after a while you might start to lose your mind. Nonetheless, the party has, apparently, begun: “All I Want For Christmas is You” was streamed 4.8 million times last week.
It all started with a tweet from Carey, who posted a video the day after Halloween announcing that “it’s tiiiiiime!” and dropped new, unreleased footage of her music video for the Christmas track. Sorry, ancestors, no Día de los Muertos this year; Mariah Carey thinks we should all listen to the 25th anniversary reissue of her Merry Christmas album instead. And apparently, we are: On this week’s RS 200, Merry Christmas comes in at Number 66, with Michael Bublé Christmas following at Number 74.
We understand your affinity for Carey’s carol, of course. Most modern Christmas songs are as sad and strange as that uncle we all pretend doesn’t exist until the holidays roll around. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” justifiably shattered streaming records in 2018 — with alternatives like “The 12 Days of Christmas” and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” what choice do you really have?
But, guys, our pumpkins aren’t even rotten yet. Our decorative Indian corn is still applicable through Thanksgiving. No matter what Mariah Carey may think, it is absolutely not “tiiiiiime.”
I promise, Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, so maybe put a penny in another musician’s hat? (A few thousandths of a penny, really, if you’re streaming.) Something that evokes dark windy nights and almost unreasonable darkness, like Leonard Cohen or just a good old-fashioned dirge? We promise, it’ll make Carey’s classic confection even sweeter.