As the founder of Young Money Entertainment, Lil Wayne has proven he can put together a roster: Drake and Nicki Minaj both won Rookie of the Year honors, Tyga provides speed off the bench and Lil Twist fills the ridiculous hair requirement.
In fact, while the Cash Money mothership has morphed into a Steinbrenner-ian ode to excess – signing pricey free-agents like Paris Hilton, Bow Wow and, uh, Limp Bizkit –Weezy has run Young Money with a savvy, SABR-inspired flair, favoring the draft and grinders who work the count (Chanel West Coast‘s OBP is ridiculous). He’s Billy Beane, bitch.
Now Wayne is taking the next logical step. According to TMZ, he’s starting a sports management firm, and he’s already landed a rather sizeable client: international soccer star (and underwear magnate) Cristiano Ronaldo. Sure, Jay Z’s Roc Nation Sports may rep the likes of Kevin Durant and Robinson Cano, but neither of them have done this (or this).
In short, Lil Wayne’s already off to a hot start; and if he wants to keep that winning streak going, he’ll need to keep signing superstars. Lucky for him, we’ve got a few suggestions…and we didn’t have to look any further than his back catalog.
Tha Carter V: In honor of his oft-delayed album, Wayne signs a quintet of Carters –Vince Carter, Joe Carter (due for a comeback), Anthony Carter, Michael Carter-Williams and Tank Carder (close enough).
6 Foot 7 Foot: Ink the Greek Freak, Giannis Antetokounmpo! The Milwaukee Bucks’ breakout star is still just 19 years old, recently finished dunking on everything during NBA Summer League and, by all accounts, is still growing. Most think he’ll eventually cross the 7-foot barrier, which is like two-and-a-half Lil Chuckees.
A Milli: Just give a million bucks to anyone who can figure out what’s up with Greg Oden’s knees.
I Am Not a Human Being: Sign a spate of superfreaks: Yoenis Cespedes and Yasiel Puig, Eddie Lacy and Marshawn Lynch, DeAndre Jordan and whomever convinced Nicki Minaj to pose for the “Anaconda” cover.
Stuntin’ Like My Daddy: Second-generation stars like Steph Curry, Kevin Love, Klay Thompson or Tim Hardaway Jr. Or, if he’s looking to save a few bucks, less-talented offspring like Austin Rivers, Shavlik Randolph and the immortal Devyn Marble. Cory Gunz can probably teach them a thing or two.
Tha Block Is Hot: Hey, Dwight Howard is a swatting machine, so sign him up. Also, as his affiliation with Austin Mahone proves, Wayne’s not averse to hanging out with those who have yet to deliver on their potential, and who’s accomplished less with more than Dwight?
500 Degreez: Take whichever NBA stars he signs and create a new team in Miami, since everyone knows “die-hard” Heat fans are gonna bail now that LeBron’s taken his talents back to Cleveland.