On the first day of December, Lil Uzi Vert — a rapper who can dance but is not known to make songs about dancing — introduced a new move to the cosmos. It was called the “Futsal Shuffle,” apparently a reference to small-side Brazilian street soccer, which is played with a smaller ball and last had a global cultural moment in the run-up to the run-up to the 2014 World Cup. Lil Uzi Vert has, so far, declined to explain the reference.
In the dance’s debut, Vert is decked in a tank top and white socks and standing in front of a dining room table. He starts wildly kicking out his legs in a style similar to “The Running Man.” The instructions for the dance according to Uzi are “super easy:”
1. Step out left
2. Step out right
3. Cancel out
5. Don’t forget a lot of hand movement
The “super easy” part was a lie, as you can tell from watching Uzi’s frighteningly kinetic movements, and the torrent of “Futsal Shuffle” Triller videos that were released in the last 14 days that fail to keep up with him. All feature wildly different interpretations of Uzi’s new dance. In the original video, Uzi wildly and expertly kicks out his legs with reckless abandon over a hyper disco beat. Grainy, imperfect, but still beautiful, every shuffle of Uzi’s original “Futsal Shuffle” is filled to the brim with an unbridled joy. Then Uzi’s recorded voice yelps the question on everyone’s mind, “Are you serious?”
Thankfully, real life Uzi was and is serious. The “Futsal Shuffle,” in all its glory, hit streaming services on Thursday night. After a year of managerial reorganization, label troubles, familial struggles, release dates that never came to be, and disastrous music leaks, “Futsal Shuffle” feels like a reprieve. Dancing Uzi is a happy Uzi and a happy Uzi is the best Uzi. Ever since 2017’s Luv Is Rage 2, the reclusive and mercurial Uzi has seemed to chafe at the rigors of fame. “Futsal Shuffle” may signal a new album or it may not. Regardless, the song does seem to denote that one of the most talented rapper’s is back to having fun. There isn’t much more you could demand of Uzi at this point.
— Uzi London 🌎☄️💕® (@LILUZIVERT) December 1, 2019