Zzzzz. They may as well have called the night “Snooze Fest” on this week’s Duets, as the superstars and their amateurs tackled “Favorite Standards.” Singing hits from way, way back in the day, for the most part there was no standout performance, as the unknowns are basically coasting into the finals based on past performances – a la J Rome, who killed it in the pre-recorded weeks but has fizzled during the live shows – and who they’re paired up with (hello, Jason Farol).
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves, skipping over the most exciting part of the show: The people have (finally) spoken, and Olivia Chisholm was given the boot after the first week of viewer voting. Hallelujah!
Absolutely no one looked surprised by the news (which was announced at the top of the show), including her own mentor, Robin Thicke, who now has no one to duet with. (And this may be for the best, even though we do love to look at him.) Upon her long-awaited departure, we were treated to a greatest hits package of her pitchiest performances and most vapid stares. Oh, Olivia, we hardly knew ya . . . and that’s just fine.
Bringing up the rear in the bottom two was Bridget Carrington, whose performance this week probably didn’t help her chances of sticking around. Speaking of which, this is how we think next week’s elimination will unfold for the final four after viewers have their say once again.
Should Be Safe
J Rome and Jennifer Nettles: While their version of Billie Holiday’s “God Bless the Child” was a nice excuse for Jennifer to show off her newly announced baby bump, that was about the most it had to offer in terms of song choice. Yeah, J Rome sounded good, and he and Jennifer are well suited for each other onstage, but he really hasn’t given us anything new to ooh and aah over the past few weeks, so we’re getting a little bored. Still, it’s his competition to lose. No pressure.
Could Be in Trouble
John Glosson and Jennifer Nettles: Sure, it made sense for these two to sing Ray Charles’ “Georgia on My Mind,” considering they’re both from the same hometown in that state. But it didn’t make for a show-stopping performance. Then again, standards have never really screamed, “Look at me!” What did make us do a double-take was how awkwardly perfect John and Jennifer are for each other, with their bewildering dance moves and over-the-top facial expressions. While the lackluster ditty may not guarantee him a spot in the top three, he just might squeak by based on vocals and chemistry alone. Oh, and for thanking sweet tea and mac and cheese, rather than his wife, for making him the man he is today. Classic.
Jason Farol and Kelly Clarkson: Let’s not beat around the bush here – the only reason this guy might be safe next week is because he’s paired with Kelly. Otherwise, we’re clueless as to how or why he made it this far; he should have been served his walking papers weeks ago. Enunciation continues to elude poor Jason – it sounded like his mouth was filled with cotton while he sang Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good.” And don’t get us started on his awkwardly distracting hip swivels, which looked like an eighth grade English teacher trying to “get down” at the school dance. You know it’s bad when even Jennifer Nettles makes fun of your skills. We wouldn’t be sad to see him go. At all.
Most Likely to Go Home
Bridget Carrington and John Legend: This duo’s rendition of Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” was anything but. With John hiding behind a piano during the whole tune, Bridget was out front flailing like a lost canary in a retina-burning yellow dress. Her flat, shaky vocals and their complete lack of chemistry – not to mention it was just plain boring – all but sealed the deal that she’ll be sent packing next week. Which is unfortunate, because she has a lot of potential, and her absence will leave an all-male top three. If that indeed happens, maybe the final three should consider performing a night of “Scenes from Magic Mike.” Yeah, that would definitely spice things up.
Last week: A Pitchy New Game