“Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused. There is no defense for what I did, and I look back on the person I became with as much disdain as many of you likely do,” Lambesis wrote on As I Lay Dying’s Facebook (via Billboard).
The statement is Lambesis’ first public apology since he was arrested in May 2013 after soliciting an undercover police officer to murder his wife of eight years. A year later, Lambesis pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to six years in prison. Less than three years into the sentence, Lambesis was released from prison on December 17th, 2016.
As I Lay Dying and their social media accounts had remained dormant until Lambesis’ apology Sunday.
“First, I apologize to my former wife and remarkable children for my appalling actions,” Lambesis wrote. “There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t wish I could undo the damage I caused, and out of respect for their wishes I will not discuss anything else about them (now or in the future). I also ask anyone reading this to promote healing for them by respecting their privacy and defending them from any negativity or anger which should be directed towards me. I was the sole offender and the only one to blame for everything that happened.”
The singer also apologized to “band mates, road crew, managers, attorneys, agents, label people, and more all had to suffer through many unexpected changes because of my actions,” as well as the fans “who looked up to me as an artist, I let you down in so many ways.”
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“I’ve remained silent to the public since expressing remorse at my sentencing because time seemed like the best way to promote healing,” Lambesis continued. “Today marks the first opportunity to freely apologize without any motivation to gain favor from the courts, as I have now completed the entirety of my legal sentence (including the completion of all parole/probation requirements). Let it be clear that no amount of time served can right my wrongs. I do not feel deserving of a second chance and am not asking for anyone’s trust… In the last five years, the ripple effect of all my actions has extended further than a written statement can address. Thus, I will continue to apologize in both words and actions moving forward.”
Lambesis also hinted that he might return to music – it’s unclear whether solo or with As I Lay Dying, although the apology’s venue suggests the latter – but “this apology is not a part of promoting anything. Rumors circulate, and that’s something I’ve learned to accept, but this apology is just that, an apology to everyone around me.”
Read Lambesis’ apology in its entirety below: