“God is good.” That’s what last week’s American Idol castoff Burnell Taylor tweeted right after Lazaro Arbos got the boot last night, and we couldn’t agree more with that sentiment.
We’re not sure how the awkward, off-key Arbos, who often forgot lyrics and rolled his eyes at the judges, made it so far in the competition. Maybe it was because viewers felt bad for him, or maybe we have Vote for the Worst to thank, or maybe tween girls were just desperately latching onto someone, anyone, since the producers didn’t give them a single White Guy With Guitar to vote for this season.
Speaking of WGWGs, the show producers must think they’re pretty slick right about now, as they’ve masterfully implemented their plan to guarantee that a woman will win for the first time in six years. (Indeed, Idol history has been made with the first-ever all-female top five.) But do they really think they’ve pulled the wool over our eyes? Are we really supposed to believe Arbos – who has since spun his ousting as winning the boys’ side of the competition – was the best male singer they could find in a cross-country sweep of talent? Please. They’re really just insulting our intelligence now.
Of course, for a brief moment we feared the judges might ludicrously use their save on him, as he was the only testosterone remaining. But, thankfully, they seemed to want him gone just as much as we did. (See you on a street corner busking for change alongside Sanjaya Malakar soon, Lazaro.)
With Arbos’ exit, the show moves into uncharted territory with a bevy of all-female contestants, as vocal powerhouses Candice Glover and Kree Harrison were revealed as the night’s top two vote-getters and Amber Holcomb dragged the bottom.
Breaking up the night were performances by past American Idol winners Kelly Clarkson and Scotty McCreery.
Country crooner McCreery straight-forwardly sang his new single, “See You Tonight,” while Clarkson showcased new song “People Like Us” amid dimmed lights and a glow-in-the-dark costume and set. (Were we the only ones distracted by her eye makeup?)
The Season One winner followed her number with some cringe-worthy interaction with judge Mariah Carey as they talked over each other, sharing compliments and anecdotes that only made sense to the two of them. Next time, ladies, save the schmoozing for backstage at the Grammys. K thx bye.
Previously: Candice Glover Earns Ovation With ‘Lovesong’