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Keith Richards’ Wildest Escapades: 19 Insane Tales From a Legendary Life

Amazing moments of excess, abandon and infinite good luck from a life well lived

Keith Richards

Michael Putland/Getty

Keith Richards may have mellowed with age, but as anyone who has read his memoir can attest, the iconic Rolling Stones guitarist has raised enough hell to fill several lifetimes. In honor of Crosseyed Heart — his new solo effort and first since 1992, out September 18th — we look back on the wildest and weirdest moments in Richards’ 50-plus-year tear through the limelight.

You already know about the time Keith snorted his deceased father’s ashes. (“My dad wouldn’t have cared, he didn’t give a shit,” said Richards of the infamous incident.) But what about when he jumped out of the window of a burning Laurel Canyon house wearing only a “short T-shirt”? Or stayed up for nine straight days during the recording of Some Girls? Those tales and many more await you in our comprehensive Keith-lore roundup.

Keith Richards

Keith Richards rehearsing with Steve Cropper (left) and Robert Cray (right) at the Guitar legends event held in Seville, Spain in October 1991. (Photo by Michael Putland/Getty Images)

Michael Putland/Getty

No Sleep, No Problem (1992)

"Adrenaline is the most amazing thing we have," Richards told an interviewer in 1992. Indeed, his ability to go without sleep is almost beyond belief. He recorded "Before They Make Me Run," from 1978's Some Girls, in a five-day studio binge ("One [engineer] would flop under the desk and have a kip, and I'd put the other one in and keep going," he wrote in Life). But his actual record is almost twice that long: "Nine days without a wink," he bragged. "I fell asleep standing up, eventually … I was just putting another cassette back on the shelf, and I was feeling great, and I turned 'round and fell asleep. I fell against the edge of the speaker. Woke up in a pool of blood, wondering, 'Is that claret?'"

Keith Richards

Keith Richards and Ron Wood lie on a floor backstage at a New Barbarians show. The New Barbarians were a side project of Keith Richards, Ron Wood(both of the Rolling Stones), and Stanley Clarke, a respected jazz bassist and producer. May 1979

Henry Diltz/Corbis

Some Acid, Some Cops and a Mystery Mars Bar (1967)

Richards purchased Redlands — a picturesque estate in Sussex, England — for £20,000 in 1966. A few months later, it became the site of one of the Sixties' most infamous drug busts, when 20 cops descended on the home in search of illegal substances. Richards, Jagger and Marianne Faithfull, who were all coming down from a daylong acid trip, were ensnared in the raid. "There's a knock on the door, I look out the window, and there's this whole lot of dwarves outside," wrote Richards. "I'd never been busted before, and I'm still on acid." It was later revealed that the police had been tipped off by a tabloid paper that had been tipped off by Richards' driver ("He never walked the same again," Richards recalled). A rumor immediately spread that the police had interrupted an orgy in which Jagger had been licking a Mars candy bar pushed into Faithfull's vagina. In fact, Richards had politely answered the door and the police had found what Faithfull later called "a scene of pure domesticity." Richards and Jagger were brought up on drug charges and received brief prison sentences that were eventually overturned. "How the Mars bar got into the story, I don't know," Richards recalled. "It shows you what's in people's minds."

Keith Richards

UNITED STATES - APRIL 04: Daily News front page April 4, 2007, Headline; I SNORTED MY DAD, Stones' Richards say he mixed father's ashes with cocaine, but Keith's manager claims it was all 'in jest', Rolling Stones Keith Richards (Photo by NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images)

Getty

Father Nose Best (2007)

Five years after the death of Bertrand Richards, Keith's father, the guitarist once implied he committed an inventive act that brought him closer to the dearly departed. "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father," Richards reportedly told the U.K.'s New Musical Express in 2007. "He was cremated, and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow." In response to anyone who might've been offended, Richards said, "My dad wouldn't have cared, he didn't give a shit." Although his manager later said that Richards had made the statement "in jest," Keith provided some teasing details in Life. "As I took the lid off of the box, a fine spray of his ashes blew out on to the table," he wrote. "I couldn't just brush him off, so I wiped my finger over it and snorted the residue."

Keith Richards

12 Jan 1967 --- The Rolling Stones leaving Heathrow Airport, London for New York on Thursday 12 January 1967 to appear on the Ed Sullivan show. Keith Richards and Bill Wyman in full view --- Image by © Daily Mirror/Mirrorpix/Corbis

Daily Mirror/Mirrorpix/Corbis

Keith’s Snowy Swiss Ski Vacation (1972)

"I learned to ski when I was a complete junkie," Richards once boasted. In 1972, Richards — exiled from France on drug charges and from Britain for tax reasons — moved to a chalet in Montreux with Anita Pallenberg and their family. Pallenberg fondly remembered driving around in Bentleys and Ferraris with a revolving cast of friends. Amid all the partying, Richards found time to take up skiing, and those present recalled him as a risk-taker on the slopes. "The reason I made it through [his exile status] was because it was all top-quality shit," he said of his drug supply while in Switzerland. "You'll do anything to get your hands on it, and if you've got to move across international borders, then you better start figuring it out!"

Keith Richards

Guitarist Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones arrives at Marlborough Street Court, London with girlfriend Anita Pallenberg, 27th June 1973. The pair are charged with possession of cannabis. Richards is also charged with firearms offences. (Photo by Frank Barratt/Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Frank Barratt/Getty

Gunning for Trouble (1973)

Richards was partying at his home on Cheyne Walk in London's Chelsea neighborhood — with guests that included the great Chicago-blues record producer Marshall Chess — blasting reggae records and getting lit. Then the police broke in and turned up heroin, marijuana, Mandrax tablets, a handgun, a rifle and 110 rounds of ammunition. Faced with 25 charges, Richards got off with the help of his "brilliant lawyer" Richard Du Cann. "He was, soon after my case — in spite of it, perhaps — made chairman of the bar."

Keith Richards

01 Jan 1964, London, England, UK --- Rolling Stones Keith Richards January 1964. --- Image by © Mirrorpix/Corbis

Mirrorpix/Corbis

Scout’s Dishonor (1950s)

As a teenager, Keith spent two years in the Boy Scouts. But this brief flirtation with public service ended after he smuggled a couple of bottles of whiskey into a jamboree and found himself engaging in fisticuffs with fellow members of what he called the "Beaver Patrol." "Soon afterwards there were a couple of fights that went down between us and some Yorkshire guys, and so I was under suspicion," he once recalled, according to Victor Bockris' Keith Richards: The Biography. "All the fighting was found out after I went to slug one guy but hit the tent pole instead, and broke a bone in my hand!" A few weeks later, he punched out "some dummo recruit" and was expelled.

Keith Richards

English guitarist Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones,performs live on stage on the TV show 'Ready Steady Go!' circa 1965. (Photo by Val Wilmer/Redferns/Getty Images)

Val Wilmer/Getty

A Near-Death Shocker (1965)

Richards has almost died many times, but there's one close call he says is his "most spectacular": On December 3rd, 1965, while playing "The Last Time" in front of 5,000 fans at the Memorial Auditorium in Sacramento, California, his guitar touched his microphone stand, a flame shot out, and Richards dropped to the ground, unconscious. Promoter Jeff Hughson thought Richards had been shot. Said attendee Mick Martin, "I literally saw Keith fly into the air backward. I thought he was dead. I was horrified. We all were." It turns out Richards had been shocked by the electrical surge from the mic. He was carried out with oxygen tubes and rushed to the hospital. Richards later laughed as he recalled hearing a doctor in the hospital say, "Well, they either wake up or they don't." Richards may have survived because of the thick soles of his suede Hush Puppies shoes, which halted the electrical charge. He was back onstage the next night.

Keith Richards

Guitarist Keith Richards having a drink while on stage during the Rolling Stones' 1975 Tour of the Americas. (Photo by Christopher Simon Sykes/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Christopher Simon Sykes/Getty

The Stones: Brought to You by Merck! (1975)

The Stones were in top form on their legendary 1975 Tour of the Americas, and for a good reason: "[It] was fueled by Merck cocaine," Richards wrote in his memoir, referring to the ultrapure pharmaceutically manufactured form of the drug. "It was when we initiated the building of hideaways behind the speakers on the stage so that we could have lines between songs. One song, one bump was the rule between Ronnie and me." Richards also had a supply of heroin that was cut into lines and hidden amid the amplifiers, along with heroin-laced cigarettes — or "dirty fags," as they were known. Things went fairly smoothly until Richards and his cocaine supplier, on a detour to get some good barbecue, were arrested in Arkansas. But they called in some favors, paid a $162 bail and were soon back on the road.

Keith Richards

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - MAY 06: Keith Richards from The Rolling Stones posed in Brussels, Belgium with child (possibly Marlon Richards?) on May 06 1976 (Photo by Gijsbert Hanekroot/Redferns)

Gijsbert Hanekroot/Getty

That Time He Didn’t Kill Anybody (1976)

"I'm a good driver," Richards wrote in Life, recalling a 1976 incident when he fell asleep at the wheel with his seven-year-old son, Marlon, in the back seat and was arrested after a crash. "I mean, nobody's perfect." The guitarist had been driving back from a gig in Knebworth, England, and plowed his Bentley into a tree. "Until five or six years ago, there was still my bloody handprint on the back seat," Marlon wrote in Life. "And on the dashboard, there was still the dent where my nose hit it." Richards, who was arrested when the police found acid in his jacket, later wrote, "At least we didn't hit anybody."

Keith Richards

English guitarist Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones on stage during a European tour, 1973. (Photo by Michael Putland/Getty Images)

Michael Putland/Getty

Keith Richards, Nanny (1973)

During their Australian tour in 1973, Richards met a single mom with a pharmaceutical cocaine connection. So, naturally, he moved in with her for the duration of a layover Down Under. "Living in the suburbs of Melbourne for a week with a mother and child was kind of weird," he recalled in his memoir. "Within four or five days, I was like a right Australian old man. Sheila, where's my fucking breakfast? … It was like I'd been there forever. And it felt great." According to Keith, he even took care of the baby when Mom was at work. "There's somebody in a suburb in Melbourne who doesn't even know I wiped his ass."

Keith Richards

Guitarist Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones during an interview at Atlantic Records in London, England in August 1974. (Photo by Michael Putland/Getty Images)

Michael Putland/Getty

Giving Hef the Hotfoot (1972)

In 1972, on a tour stop in Chicago, Richards and saxophonist Bobby Keys were invited to stay at the Playboy Mansion by Hugh Hefner and nearly set it ablaze while doing drugs in a bathroom. "Bobby says, 'It's smoky in here,' " Richards recalled in Life. "And then a little later there's a thumping at the door, waiters and guys in black suits bringing buckets of water. They get the door open, and we're sitting on the floor, our eyeballs very pinned." The house was saved, but, as Richards notes, Hefner would relocate the Playboy Mansion to Los Angeles.

Keith Richards and John Lennon

From left to right, Eric Clapton, John Lennon (1940 - 1980) and Keith Richards performing together at the Rolling Stones Rock And Roll Circus, Internel Studios in Stonebridge Park, Wembley, December 1968. (Photo by Andrew Maclear/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Andrew Maclear/Getty

Keith in the Sky With Diamonds (1967)

In Life, Richards recalled heavy experimentation with psychedelics in 1967 and 1968. But there's one LSD trip in particular he regards as truly special. After meeting up with John Lennon one day, the pair embarked on what the Stones guitarist described as an "acid-fueled road trip" over the course of two or three days that took them to the English towns of Torquay and Lyme Regis. Relying heavily on the memory of Kari Ann Moller, who later married Jagger's younger brother Chris, Richards recalled driving in circles (either with or without a chauffeur) and visiting Lennon's country house, where they "said hi to [Lennon's wife] Cynthia." Years later, when Lennon and Richards met up in New York, Keith recalls the ex-Beatle asking, "What happened on that trip?"

Keith Richards

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - MAY 11: Rolling Stone guitarist Keith Richards leaves the Ascot Hospital following brain surgery May 11, 2006 in Auckland, New Zealand. Richards has been in Auckland receiving medical attention for the last two weeks following a fall from a tree while on holiday in Fiji. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)

Phil Walter/Getty

D’oh! (2006)

During a break from the Bigger Bang tour, Richards and a small group flew to a private island off Fiji. After an afternoon swimming with Ronnie Wood, he perched himself on a tree — a "gnarled low tree that was basically a horizontal branch" about seven feet off the ground. As he tried to jump off the tree to go to lunch, he slipped and hit his head on the trunk. Richards didn't feel any serious pain until days later, when he suffered a "blinding headache" on a boat ride. That night, he had two seizures in his sleep, and his wife, Patti, frantically called for medical attention. After enduring an excruciating four-hour flight to Auckland, New Zealand, he was operated on by neurosurgeon Dr. Andrew Law. "I woke up feeling great," Richards said. "And I said, 'Well, when are you going to start?' Law said, 'It's all done, mate.'" Richards was back onstage in six weeks, with Dr. Law (his "head man") by his side.

Chuck Berry and Keith Richards

CHICAGO - 1986: Rock and roll musician Chuck Berry performs onstage with his Gibson hollowbody electric guitar and guitarist Keith Richards of the rock and roll band "The Rolling Stones" plays a Fender Telecaster at the Chicago Blues Festival in 1986 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by James Fraher/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

James Fraher/Getty

Berry Scary (2014)

In 2014, while promoting his children's book Gus & Me: The Story of My Granddad and My First Guitar, Richards appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, where the host asked him about an infamous instance in which rock & roll legend Chuck Berry allegedly punched Richards in the face. "I was back in a dressing room," Richards said. "He went up to collect the money, I think. His guitar was laid out in its case like, 'Aw, c'mon, Keith,' you know, 'just a touch.'" When Richards picked up the instrument and innocently strummed an E chord, Berry came in yelling, "Nobody touches my guitar" and promptly slugged Richards in the face. As Richards joked to Fallon, "That's one of Chuck's biggest hits."

Keith Richards

Left to right: Ron Wood, Mick Jagger, Charlie Watts, Keith Richards and Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones at the Historic Atlantic City Convention Hall (now Boardwalk Hall) in Atlantic City, N.J., during the Steel Wheels Tour, December 1989. The group played three nights at the venue from 17th - 20th December 1989. (Photo by Paul Natkin/WireImage)

Paul Natkin/Getty

Hey, the Man Likes Pie (1989)

The 1989 Steel Wheels tour was the Stones' biggest yet, but Richards still likes things homey. In Toronto in December, the catering setup had re-created an English pub, complete with a jukebox, cricket bats and standard pub food. When Richards arrived late to find that the shepherd's pie he'd been looking forward to had been dug into, he refused to go onstage until another one was produced. Jagger was furious, but the concert was still delayed until Keith got his special meal. "It's now famous, my rule on the road," he wrote. "Nobody touches the shepherd's pie till I've been in there. Don't bust my crust, baby."

Keith Richards

English musician and singer Keith Richards at his home in upstate New York, 1978. The picture was taken during the period of his drug bust in Canada, pending his trial for possession of heroin. (Photo by Michael Putland/Getty Images)

Michael Putland/Getty

Naked and Afraid (1978)

During the late Seventies, Richards struck up a relationship with a Swedish blonde named Lil Wergilis, whom he described in Life as "incredibly funny, very witty and a great lay." One night, they were staying in a rented house in L.A.'s Laurel Canyon, when Wergilis woke him in the middle of the night because a fire had broken out in another room. (The cause of the fire remains undisclosed, though the guitarist told the Telegraph in 2010 that he'd accidentally set it aflame.) "We had a few seconds to jump out of the window," Richards wrote in Life. "I'm dressed in a short T-shirt only, and Lil is naked." A cousin of Anita Pallenberg picked them up and brought them to safety. When they returned to the house the next day, they found a "large sign stuck in the blackened grass that read, 'Thanks a lot, Keith.'" The guitarist said his only possession that survived was a chest of drawers containing his passport, his favorite tapes, jewelry and a gun with 500 rounds of ammunition. After recounting the story, he asked, "So what am I supposed to gather from my life? That I'm blessed?"

Keith Richards

Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood celebrates with friends in Gerrards Cross, Buckinghamshire, after his wedding to girlfriend Jo Howard, 3rd January 1985. Accompanying the happy couple are best men and fellow Stones Charlie Watts, left, and Keith Richards. (Photo by Dave Hogan/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Dave Hogan/Getty

Some Blow, Keith, a Baby Shower … What Could Go Wrong? (1970s)

In It's Only Rock 'n' Roll: 30 Years Married to a Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood's ex-wife Jo Wood remembers first encountering Richards in a Paris hotel room in 1977. "Keith reached into his bag and took out a silver spoon, a bottle of pills and a lighter. In a matter of seconds, he'd crushed some of the pills with a bit of water, cooked them up, then filled a syringe and stabbed it straight through his shirt." Moments later, Richards smiled: "He looked up at me [and said], 'Hello, my dear. I've heard so much about you!'" Jo was unfazed: "I adored Keith from the start — which was lucky, because he and Ronnie came as a pair … One of the first things I loved about him most was his naughtiness." But Richards' behavior tested even Jo. At a baby shower in the late Seventies, Jo asked Richards not to do cocaine in front of her mother. Unsurprisingly, her request went ignored: "[After dinner] suddenly Keith declared, 'And now for dessert!' With that, he pulled out a big bag of coke and slammed it on the table." Mortified, her mother fled the room. "He's been doing it for years," Jo told her mom. "I can't stop him. It's just his way of life."

Keith Richards

Guitarist Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones arives at the Big Apple Circus at the Lincoln Center's Damrosch Park with his wife Patti and their daughters Theodora and Alexandra, November 1988. (Photo by Tom Gates/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Tom Gates/Getty

The Pirate of Weston (1991)

After decades of drugs, sex, arrests and legendary insanity, the only way left for Richards to truly shock people was to settle down. And in 1991, that's exactly what he did, moving with his wife, Patti, and their two young daughters from Manhattan to leafy Weston, Connecticut. "The woods have a primeval serenity about them that would suit the ancestral spirits," he says in Life, going on to write at length about enjoying his private surroundings and large library. In 2002, he gave Rolling Stone an account of his gentlemanly country life: "I'd get up at seven in the morning," he said. "I read a lot. I might have a little sail around Long Island Sound if the weather is all right. I do a lot of recording in my basement — writing songs, keeping up to speed. I have no fixed routine. I wander about the house, wait for the maids to clean the kitchen, then fuck it all up again and do some frying. Patti and I go out once a week, if there's something on in town — take the old lady out for dinner with a bunch of flowers, get the rewards."

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