This girl consistently looks like she is going to the chicest cotillion on earth, which is pitch-perfect for her age, steez and Mariah-twinning. That goddess-weave is perfection with her Dolce & Gabbana frock in cherry blossom: total prom queen.

Amber Rose gave birth to her child with Wiz Khalifa almost exactly one year ago — February 21, 2013 — and yet, certain red carpet hosts and gossip sites can only focus on her "post-baby body." Uh, did y'all not notice she planted her flag as the baddest chick since Trina like, eight Ludacris videos ago? Moving on, she covered up her copious arm tats with make-up and literally bodied a Naeem Khan gown, gilded head to toe. Amber, sure you're at the right awards show? Cause you look like Oscar, boo.

This unfailing style star showed up in Lanvin the color of money. Fín.

KP can be hit or miss, but her gown — Valentino Spring 2014 Couture which debuted on the runway literally five days ago in Paris — cast her as the floaty topper on a wedding cake. Or the next Elven Queen from Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings, Part Cinq. 

Most people aren't automatically looking to 5'2" funnyman Kevin Hart as their epitome of red carpet chic, but we gotta hand it to him: his gilded Lanvin tux jacket was one of the sharpest of the evening, bonus for the gilded rose upon his lapel.

Kacey! She stole our hearts on the carpet in dainty Armani Privé, but the love was solidified with her performance outfit: she served vaquera realness in a cowpoke dress and raver cowboy boots straight outta the dusty rancheras of Guadalajara. We demand a collabo with 3BallMTY. 

While there was no shortage of gorgeous frocks and dapper dans on the carpet, it took Cyndi Lauper to actually do things, to make any sort of statement beyond "I have an awesome stylist." Her Alexander McQueen boss-dress plus her Manic Panic dyejob made her head look literally aflame, a fashion risk for everyone else out there (apparently!) but one of the only carpet moments that got our pulses moving beyond "resting."

…And here was another. Dueling lions in zebra print? The only kinda blurred lines we feel like thinking about this morning (that and our hangover, amirite).

Literally no one on the carpet pre-show could stop talking about how Taylor's reflectively-gleaming Gucci gown looked like chain mail. Which, kind of, though we tried to imagine her eating a post-show muttoncake and it didn't really materialize. Put Daenarys Targaryen in it and maybe we can talk. 

Never won't wanna see Ella Yelich-O'Connor in shades of American Horror Story coal: she is the super-smart goth icon her generation deserves. But her performance look was almost more stunning in its simplicity: pleated trousers and a white shirt may have seemed Ian Curtis-conservative, but close-up on her jet-black finger make-up and you imagine backstage she was concocting a potion to disappear all the wack people. 

Beyoncé's fealtiness to Bob Fosse-era Broadway looks is one of her most endearing qualities, though she edged-up her Ann Reinking with a body cage by Chromat. Offstage, she shifted to the other spectrum of hues in gleaming white Michael Costello Couture; don't worry ,scolds, that nude thing underneath was a lining, no chance for a nip slip. 

S-dot in Tom Ford, while being nominated for "Tom Ford," was unassailable as ever. 

What's prettier than Ciara in a gilded Pucci gown? THAT FETUS. Ciara and Future's kid is gonna be so hot. 

The Blumarine dress is gorgeous and she's a sliver from being on the best-dressed list, but sweet baby hayzeus, those lipstick-red peep-toes with a two-inch pump are an abomination. 

He usually looks sharp, but this forest ranger hat and throwback Adidas jacket is something like Smokey Bear at a B-boy contest. We get where he's going with this, but it's a dark, dark place. 

Bless Madge and her penchant for menswear, but not even the Pope could cosign that nigh-bootcut on the trouser.

If Pharrell's hat gets its own Twitter, so should Macklemore's bolo ties. In the context of this dude, it's the trucker hat of 2014. Bye. 

You have to take into context what this woman does on the red carpet, so it is with reluctance that we include her on worst-dressed. But she is included solely because her dress is straight off my grandma at an over-70 singles mixer in Ft. Lauderdale. She has looked better!

Remember when Torrid opened as an offshoot to Hot Topic and their clothes were similar to those sold at their parent store, but slightly… off? That, plus 1998. 

Is this a Seattle thing? We just picture Krist and Macklemore in their wacky Wild West ties, riding off in the sunset together, possibly to a steampunk convention. 

Is mother-son menswear looks a thing now? We're leaning Sean and Yoko because they're exploring variations on the theme (and because Yoko's top hat is forever doing the most). But young David Ciccone Ritchie's spats elevate his mother's grill situation. We look forward to more of this trend in the coming months.