Rolling Stone 500: Adam Horovitz’s Ballot is Full of Obscure Gems and Imaginary Classics

Last week, Rolling Stone published our completely updated list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. In making the new list, we received more than 300 ballots from artists, critics and other figures from throughout the music industry.

Among them all, the first ballot that came in was from Adam Horovitz (a.k.a. Ad-Rock of the Beastie Boys), and it set a high bar for taste, erudition and hilarious bullshit. Seeing vegetable-loving psychedelic rockers Ultimate Spinach and German clarinet master Hugo Strasser on a best albums did our hearts proud, even if most of us filled our lists with less obscure choices. But even the sharpest music scholars on the RS staff weren’t hip to artists like Jan Pfundt and Pops Willard. In fact, a few of them sounded a little too theoretically good to be true, as if perhaps they may have been placed on the list not because of their musical quality but as part of some sort of clever satirical gesture. Sure, a record like Dr. Funk-A-Dunk’s Out Of Bounds On The Dance Floor could be a real thing. Or it could be fake. Or it could be so fake it’s real, or so real it’s fake. How are we to know? To each their own.

In any case, thanks Adam. Your list sure is a real education, and we’re gratified that you’ve been kind enough to let us share it with our readers. If anyone out there ever tracks down that Juan Epstein joint, let us know.

1. Macka B, Sign of the Times
2. Grits and Gravy, Nuthin’ But The Good Stuff
3. The Frank Figueora Funk Ensemble, Double Bang Bang
4. Chirp, The City Ain’t Tough Enough
5. Sergeant Crikey, It Mek Dem Bubble
6. Hugo Strasser, TanzHits ’71
7. Ultimate Spinach, Ultimate Spinach
8. The Outta Controls, I Need New Friends
9. The Lover’s 2, Slip Into Something More Fantastical
10. Merv Gelter, Unlinked Passages And Patterns 
11. Danice Wilder, Funk Your Body Down
12. Strategic Orchestrations, My Suzuki Sierra Is Bumpin’
13. Jan Pfundt, Gekreuzte Drähte
14. Pops Willard, Bus Station Situation 
15. Janice Montcrieff, Pour me another Glass Of Whine, You Baby
16. The Dapper Duo, Your Freaky Touch
17. Urszula Dudziak, Urszula 
18. Miss Sally Murdoch, Turn Me On When The The Lights Go Off
19. The Cosmonauts (Featuring Shep Greenley), Bump That Funky Bump
20. Digitz, Why Is That Again?
21. The Satin Velvettes, Sooth My Mood
22. Ebbet Maynfield, Flutes A Plenty
23. Video Kids, Woodpeckers From Space
24. The Pete Smith Quintet, Dynamism
25. Amy Cranterston, The Strength Of The Willow’s Shadows
26. Ruff-N-Ready, We Rhyme Right
27. Phil Collins, Dance Into The Light
28. Westbeth, Down In The Basement (Where The Funk Grows)
29. The Captain, 22lb Turkey
30. Monotony, Witness The Rampage
31. The Tremont High School Drum Line, Marching Band Favorites
32. Chip Button, Drums Are My Bag
33. Crabby Appleton, Rotten To The Core
34. Dr. Funk-A-Dunk, Out Of Bounds On The Dance Floor
35. Bridget Everett and The Tender Moments, Pound It
36. The Clarence Widley Orchestra, Boxcar Business (Original Soundtrack)
37. Melancholia, Exploration Interflection
38. Al Carlton, Too Smooth
39. Earl Wilson, Jr., Let My People Come (A Sexual Musical)
40. Khia, Thug Misses
41. The Dunes of Distance, Equanimity
42. General Echo, 12” Of Pleasure
43. Aileen Mccullough, An Oiread Sin Báistí
44. Sweet Lou, Already On It
45. The T-Bones, No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach Is In)
46. Ladies and Lords, The Mod Way
47. Crianças Loucas, é Meu Agora
48. Juan Epstein, Boogaloo In Brooklyn
49. Little Marcy, Happy Day Express
50. Carmine Rittzi, Freak Your Way Out Of This One