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Booting Ass and Taking Names: Country’s 20 Best Revenge Songs

From Carrie Underwood’s tire slashing to Johnny Cash’s sucker punches, count down the best tunes about getting even

Carrie Underwood Before He Cheats

Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats" is one of country music's best revenge songs.

Michael Loccisano/FilmMagic

Country music may be the genre of the Bible Belt, but when it comes to avenging sins, its lyrical weapons are plenty and potent. Carrie Underwood swings a baseball bat, Johnny Cash uses fists, Miranda Lambert loads a gun and Toby Keith fires up footwear. Forget looking good as the best revenge; it’s all about a good aim. Here are the 20 country songs that prove best that what comes around goes around.

Bobby Bare
11

Bobby Bare, “Marie Laveau”

Don't piss off the voodoo queen. This 1974 single was Hall of Famer Bare's only Number One hit, and shows how revenge can be so much more fun when you have Creole witchcraft in your pocket of evil tools. In this virtually verse-less story-song written by Shel Silverstein and folk singer Baxter Taylor, Marie unleashes her wrath when a suitor swindles her for some cash and tries to leave before the wedding bells ring – a tale Bare tells in his smooth twang and country-blues boogie. "Oooooo-we! Another man done gone," he sings, after warning future beaus to either seal the deal or just steer clear.

Jason Isbell

Jason Isbell

Mike Coppola/Getty Images

10

Jason Isbell, “Yvette”

A murder ballad about a literal family affair, "Yvette" spins the story of a teenaged boy who admires a quiet, glassy-eyed schoolmate from across the classroom. He follows her home one night and watches through the window, horrified, as her father walks into her bedroom and inflicts some unspeakable acts of abuse. "He won't hold you that way anymore, Yvette," Isbell promises, returning to the scene of the crime later that evening with a Weatherby rifle in his arms and revenge on his mind. Although the song wraps up before he pulls the trigger, we're guessing this story ends with a bang. 

John Prine Sweet Revenge

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - NOVEMBER 3: John Prine performs at the Old Waldorf on November 3, 1981 in San Francisco California. (Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)

9

John Prine, “Sweet Revenge”

Sometimes, revenge isn't just in the lyrics – it's the actual song itself. After his second album failed to resonate as powerfully as his debut, and he'd literally quit his day job, Prine was suffering from a bit of an existential crisis. He chose to respond with a third LP, Sweet Revenge, full of stunners like "Mexican Home" and "Please Don't Bury Me," along with the title track. With lyrics ripped from Hunter S. Thompson ("The milkman left me a note yesterday/'Get out of this town by noon/You're coming on way too soon/And besides that, we never liked you anyway'"), he hits back at the detractors with a priceless melody that said this Chicagoan wasn't going anywhere, no matter what the milkman demands.

Waylon Jennings Mental Revenge
8

Waylon Jennings, “Mental Revenge”

This 1968 hit — later covered by both Jamey Johnson and Linda Ronstadt — shows how to get some vengeance without getting your hands dirty. "Hope" is the operative word in the Mel Tillis-penned song, which shows a scorned lover wishing a variety of devious outcomes upon his former lady. "Well, I hope that the friend you've thrown yourself with/Gets drunk and loses his job," Jennings sings to a steadfast shuffle. This is a kiss-off with no need for a minor key.

Justin Townes Earle Someone Will Pay
7

Justin Townes Earle, “Someone Will Pay”

Justin Townes Earle has never avoided an association with his famous country singer father, Steve Earle, and the younger Earle has certainly never held back on wearing his daddy issues on his sleeves. "I don't get angry; I get even," he sings on the opening line of the deceptively cheery sounding, country-blues ditty "Someone Will Pay." The song is off the singer's 2015 LP Absent Fathers, which is the companion album to its 2014 predecessor, Single Mothers. And it's no great mystery who Justin is singing about (or rather, who he's singing to) when he croons, "On my mama's life, someone will pay for the way you lied." The song does leave one question unanswered, though: Who is that "someone?" Father, or son?

Miranda Lambert Gunpowder and Lead

WEST PALM BEACH, FL - AUGUST 11: Country music singer Miranda Lambert performs live at The Sound Advice Amphitheater August 11, 2007 in West Palm Beach Florida. (Photo by Larry Marano/Getty Images)

6

Miranda Lambert, “Gunpowder and Lead”

Lambert's first shot at the Top 10 arrived thanks to this nasty bit of rough justice (or is it premeditated murder?) that opens and closes with the groans of a guy whose fate is sealed after he slaps her face and shakes her "like a rag doll." Waiting for the dude to post bail and show up on her doorstep, Lambert's all liquored up and ready to send them both straight to hell. The singer, who had already laid waste (in song) to another ex in "Kerosene" by burning the cheating bastard's house down, has since softened her image a bit, but anyone foolish enough to tangle with this Texan probably deserves every damn thing he gets. While she may have gained a reputation for a high body count in her songs, the inspiration for this tune came from a real place. When she was a teenager, Lambert's parents took in women and children who had been abused.

Garth Brooks the Thunder Rolls

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - JUNE 21: Garth Brooks performs at Shoreline Amphitheatre on June 21, 1991 in Mountain View, California. (Photo by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images)

5

Garth Brooks, “The Thunder Rolls”

The cheating protagonist in Garth Brooks' 1991 hit makes one fatal mistake: he returns home from a sordid tryst still smelling like his lover's perfume. Whoops. While the country singer wanted to end the song with a bang — literally, with the wife pulling a pistol on her philandering husband — the album version leaves things a little cleaner. Networks even banned the video, which depicted scenes of domestic violence. But no one tells Garth what to do: live, he plays the whole shebang, telling the ill-fated tale in its entirely to a wicked melody that sounds like a devious storm rolling into to a dusty saloon. And that video? It won a CMA Award. Talk about the best revenge.

Maggie Rose Looking Back Now
4

Maggie Rose, “Looking Back Now”

Maggie Rose is full of regret but shows little remorse in the role of a love-scorned death row killer who's moments away from a lethal injection in this wrenching, modern murder ballad. While the once whiskey-swigging, gun-toting Rose, now scared and begging for God's forgiveness, cowers at the prick of the needle, the song is unflinching. "Looking back now, I should have probably let him run," the singer intones as she feels the sodium thiopental drip into her veins, but "paybacks are hell where I come from." And not just where she comes from, but where she bets she's going, too. In the tradition of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," Rose offers her famous last words in the final verse of a song about letting love take you all the way down to the depths of hell.

Dixie Chicks Goodbye Earl
3

Dixie Chicks, “Goodbye Earl”

Songwriter Dennis Linde, who penned "Burnin' Love" for Elvis and such irreverent hits as "Bubba Shot the Jukebox" and "Queen of My Double-Wide Trailer," wrote this Thelma and Louise-inspired revenge fantasy. Dixie Chick Natalie Maines unfolds the tale with extra grit in her voice as she sings that "Earl had to die" — as retribution for abusing wife, Wanda, before the ink on their marriage certificate was dry. With help from best friend Mary Anne, the battered bride poisons Earl's black eyed peas, wraps him up in a tarp and hides the body without a trace. . . of evidence or regret, that is. Besides, "it turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all." "Goodbye Earl" wasn't the last controversial thing the Chicks ever did – but it was certainly the funniest.

Toby Keith Courtesy of the Red White and Blue
2

Toby Keith, “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (the Angry American)”

"We'll put a boot in your ass/It's the American way." No other lyric more completely defined the patriotic (or, as many argued, jingoistic) sentiments that dominated country airwaves in the wake of 9/11, running up to the invasion of Iraq. Like many hawkish Americans, the unapologetic Keith, firm in the belief that justice and vengeance were one in the same, wasn't just angry — he was enraged. And he didn't mince words on what prevailed as his signature song (at least until "Red Solo Cup" came along). The de facto soundtrack to the Bush Doctrine, the song — much like the war — was polarizing in its promise to blow axis of evil inhabitants back to the Stone Age. The song itself made good on that promise, its titled famously scrawled across some of the bombs that dropped over Baghdad.

Carrie Underwood
1

Carrie Underwood, “Two Black Cadillacs”

Underwood is great when she's playing the good girl, but she's even better at being bad. In the delicious "Two Black Cadillacs," a woman spots her husband's mistress at his funeral.  It turns out this is not the first time the two have met, and their actions have been far more diabolical than their man's infidelity. The pair make unlikely bedfellows as they plot to do in the guy who has done them both wrong. If "Before He Cheats" is Adultery 101,  then "Two Black Cadillacs" is a graduate course that makes taking a bat to someone's car seem like child's play.

Carrie Underwood performed the song "Church Bells" at the 2016 CMT Awards. Watch here.

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