Worst: CBS Goes Keyboard Cat, Plays Everyone Off
We'll make this quick. We'd like to thank the producers, for packing this show with 23 musical performances, while at the same time giving the night's winners 30 seconds to make acceptance speeches before the dreaded playoff music hit. It would have been cool to hear what Pharrell or Beck had to say, but everybody knows those extra "Thank you"s are why this telecast is always three-and-a-half hours long. And we'd like to thank the Recording Academy for still mandating that their president, Neil Portnow, got three minutes to re-arrange the deck chairs on the Titanic with his annual keynote. And, oh gosh, we'd like to thank [music begins to swell]…uh, Mom and Dad, God, the New England Patriots, LL Cool J for not doing an opening monologue, Taylor Swift's reactions to everything, Target's integrated marketing department, "social media reporter" Pauley Perrette, Kim Kardashian's shoulder pads [music reaches thunderous crescendo] and, uh…thankyougoodnight!