Critics blew snob snot all over Seth MacFarlane’s Ted in 2012, claiming to be above the vulgar antics of a teddy bear, voiced by director and co-writer MacFarlane, talking shit to his real-life Boston buddy John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg). Audiences made Ted one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever. They’ll do it again with Ted 2 because even when MacFarlane pushes too hard and long, he keeps the jokes gut-busting and laced with satirical bite. The tenderness between Ted and John — Wahlberg plays this likable dim bulb with winning dexterity — is an unexpected treat.
What does Ted 2 do for plot? It puts Ted in a tough spot. Now married to checkout babe Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), who claims Ted is good at sex even though Hasbro didn’t equip him with a dick, Ted wants to be a daddy. That means a sperm donor. Ted and John try to jerk off a sleeping Tom Brady. When that fails, Ted finds himself in court trying to prove he’s a person and not a piece of property. Amanda Seyfried, sweet and sexy, plays his untried lawyer.
Still, the cause of bear rights can’t compete with jokes that are killer funny. Anytime John Googles a topic, even the Grand Canyon, the response is always “Did you mean ‘black dicks?’ ” If this repels you, stay away from Ted 2. If you’re ready to go with the hit-and-miss flow, you’ll laugh your ass off.