It’s been an eternity since National Lampoon meant anything as a title preface (Belushi should haunt these scumbags). In this painfully flat gross-out comedy, Ryan Reynolds, of ABC’s Two Guys and a Girl, stars as Van Wilder. Van is a campus party dude currently enjoying his seventh year as an undergrad. When Daddy cuts off his tuition, Van finds a way to get the bucks and stay in school. He hires himself out as a party planner, organizes topless tutorials and turns geeks into studs. This breach of ethics raises the ire of campus journalist Gwen Pearson (Tara Reid), who comes to discredit Van and winds up, well, you’ve been here before — we all have. Director Walt Becker spends a lot of time on a scene in which Van and his gang collect semen from a dog and stuff it into pastries that get gobbled by frat boys. Tim Matheson, a veteran of National Lampoon’s Animal House, is cast as Van’s father. What, to remind us of the glory days? Fat chance.