Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David have a secret. Or so Seinfeld said yesterday in his Reddit AMA. Asked what the most mundane thing is that he and David (co-creators of Seinfeld) have obsessed over, he replied, “We never obsess over anything that isn’t mundane. Most recent was intentional mumbling. We wrote this script for this thing that you will eventually see but I can’t reveal what it is at this time. All I can do is tell you that it’s big, huge, gigantic. Even bigger than that Amazon package.” (He was not talking about Amazon’s spurious announcement that they planned to drop off packages with drones, but about a photo featured on Reddit of an enormous Amazon cardboard box on a flatbed truck, possibly containing a car.)
So what could be that big? Seinfeld and David are smart enough to know that a Seinfeld revival would inevitably be disappointing, so let’s assume any itch they had was scratched in 2009 by the latter show’s fictional cast reunion in season seven of Curb Your Enthusiasm. That leaves almost endless possibilities, so let the wild speculation commence!
1. They’re taking over the Superman franchise
This would be excellent news. Instead of the grim and gritty approach we saw in Man of Steel, we could get a playful Superman movie, more akin to the classic comics with villains like Mr. Mxyzptlk (the fifth-dimensional imp) or Bizarro (the reverse Superman, featured on a memorable episode of Seinfeld). Seinfeld is a big Superman fan, and would probably write a great script – unfortunately, Zack Snyder seems to have the franchise sewn up for the foreseeable future. Maybe they could find another superhero tentpole. How about Wally Wood’s Superduperman?
2. They’re co-starring in a buddy comedy
David and Seinfeld have a mixed record in movies: Seinfeld’s last film was the pleasant animated kids feature Bee Movie, while David has made both the legendary stinker Sour Grapes (in 1998) and the very funny Clear History (last year, for HBO). But Seinfeld loves buddy comedies and has cited The In-Laws as one of his favorite movies of all time (the 1979 version, with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin). Seinfeld and David have made only fleeting appearances on-screen together, but they’re a great, loose comic duo: if you haven’t seen it, check out the episode of Seinfeld’s talk show Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee featuring David. “It’s a miracle we ever got any work done,” Seinfeld tells David. “Because nobody can waste time like you and me.” A movie that teamed them up with a smart premise could be gold.
3. They’re going to save NBC
Well, somebody has to. Sure, Seinfeld’s last effort to prop up the Peacock was the godawful The Marriage Ref, but even if you cross “sitcom” and “relationship-counseling show” off the list of genres, there’s plenty for them to do. How about a gritty drama about a pair of hitmen, paying tribute to Pulp Fiction the way Jules and Vincent’s dialogue was inspired by Jerry and George’s conversations? Or alternatively, a cooking show?
4. They’re finally doing a show about nothing
As Seinfeld pointed out in his AMA, Seinfeld really wasn’t a show about nothing: its theme was how people navigate social mores and transgressions. But what if they actually did a show about nothing – and pulled it off? How would that manifest itself? Two people sitting around talking? Three people sitting around and not talking? One person reading from Sartre’s Being and Nothingness?
5. They’re making Sack Lunch: The Movie.
It’s a family in a brown paper bag. Don’t you want to know how they got in there? Do you think they got shrunk down, or is it just a giant sack?