Still clinging to your cinematic January blues? Peter Travers has the cure. In his latest crap movie round-up, Rolling Stone‘s critic punishes all the films that tortured him “and probably tortured you” by tossing them in the ever-handy Scum Bucket.
Travers is short and sweet (“Bad”) with his scum summary of The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death, a horror sequel to “Daniel Radcliffe’s semi-hit,” and the Anne Hathaway drama Song One: “Oh My. God. So dull.” The critic isn’t a fan of the computer animated dud Strange Magic, which features a George Lucas story but none of his Star Wars grace: “Everything that can go wrong in this animated version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream goes wrong,” Travers says. “I call it ‘A Midsummer Night’s Nightmare.’ No magic.”
He’s also got choice words for the Jennifer Lopez thriller The Boy Next Door, the Kevin Hart comedy The Wedding Ringer, and Taken 3, which finds Liam Neeson reviving his quotable ex-operative character Bryan Mills for another tired kidnapping plot. (“This has got to stop,” Travers pleads. “Paychecks aren’t really worth it.”)
But January’s scummiest flick is the misguided action-comedy Mortdecai, which stars Johnny Depp, “who we once all loved for his creativity, playing a low-grade, C-level remake of Austin Powers.” Travers begs the actor to change his ways (“Why are you always in this make-up and wigs and looking like a weirdo?”), but his Scum Bucket fate is sealed for now.