I’m calling today’s blog: Bottom line of a bottom feeder. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is a box-office machine (it sure ain’t human). The official domestic gross for the first 5 days of Michael Bay’s craptacular is $200.1 million. That ranks it as the 2nd best opening ever for a Wednesday-to-Sunday movie launch. The Dark Knight, at $203.8, still holds the record. Whew! I had feared shit would rise to the top.
Which brings me to today’s question: Which of the Top 5-day openings in movie history sucks the most? Hint: Only one of the five is actually of real value.
Here are the contenders:
The Dark Knight ($203. 8 million)
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen ($200.1 million)
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith ($172.8 million)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest ($169.5 million)
Spider-Man 3 ($169 million)
I can only approach this question by picking the 2nd suckiest since Bay tops all my lists for crimes against cinema. But the runner-up position in my book goes to Revenge of the Sith, the final and most futile attempt from clumsy director and tin-eared writer George Lucas to create a prequel trilogy to match the myth-making spirit of the original Star Wars saga he unleashed in 1977. I’d still watch Sith five times than endure another five minutes of Trans 2. But that’s just me. It’s your turn, suckmeisters. Weigh in on the ultimate in mega-grossing awfulness. I’ll publish the results as soon as we get a clear consensus.