After a record-breaking opening day, Star Wars: The Force Awakens seems primed to rewrite box office history around the globe … except in China, a country that never really fully embraced the blockbuster space saga. “Apparently the franchise never got popular in China because the original Star Wars movie came out in 1977, back when Western media was suppressed in China,” Stephen Colbert told his Late Show audience Friday. “For the less-informed Chinese viewers out there, let me catch you up real quick.”
What followed was an extremely layman’s version of George Lucas’ original trilogy, which essentially boils down to the story of a farm boy (Luke Skywalker) and his two robots, “one looks like a garbage can, the other is programmed to be scared all the time for some reason.” They partner up with “a shut-in” (Obi-Wan Kenobi) and “a criminal and his screaming dog friend” (Han Solo and Chewbacca) to fight the bad guy, “a handicap man who needs a full-body respirator just to stay alive” (Darth Vader).
“The farm boy then helps kill the bad guy because the bad guy killed his father even though he actually is his father,” Colbert explained. “The whole thing ends with a dance party with a bunch of teddy bears and ghosts. And that’s Star Wars.”
Earlier in the week, Colbert hyped the arrival of The Force Awakens by pestering Harrison Ford and director J.J. Abrams. However, to prepare for the much-anticipated film, the late-night host advised Chinese audiences to skip Episodes I-III. “They also made three prequels but honestly those don’t make any sense at all,” Colbert joked.