While it’s only been a few weeks since reports of the sea change surfaced, several main characters revealed their intent to move to the Big Apple upon graduating from McKinley High. Blaine hopes to get into NYADA (the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts), Sam sees it as the best place to fulfill his dream of becoming a model, and Artie – well, for now, he just has a generic “college” excuse.
Yes, the times they are a-changin’. In fact, the show has moved so far past Finn’s death at this point (after only three episodes) that there seems to be a potential romance brewing between Sam and Rachel. Who knew?
But all that takes a backseat to the more pressing question: Where the hell is Adam Lambert? His brilliantly flamboyant character Elliott “Starchild” Gilbert made a grand entrance two episodes ago and has yet to be seen again. The Glee gods giveth and cruelly taketh away.
The consolation prize? An episode completely devoted to Billy Joel covers.
Is this really what the world is coming to? When Joel is name-checked in the glee club rehearsal room Unique asks, “Who?” And Kitty would have been much happier with it “finally” being “Marilyn Manson week.” (Please make this happen.)
The focus on “classic BJ” tunes, as Sam awkwardly refers to them, is a direct response to principal Sue Sylvester holding McKinley’s very first career fair – which conveniently excludes any arts-related jobs because “there’s no such thing as a career” in that field. “The very best they’re likely to achieve is coaching a high school glee club.” Ouch.
While she may be right, Mr. Schue wants his New Directions underlings to “pursue what you love,” even if it’s impractical – and Joel is someone who never gave up on his dream even though he didn’t fit the stereotypical role of rock star.
On cue, Blaine and Sam announce they’re making a trip to New York to pursue their own dreams. Blaine is planning on trying out for NYADA, while Sam has an interview at Hunter College.
Set to Joel’s working-class anthem, Blaine and Sam head to the City That Never Sleeps, surprising Kurt, Rachel and Santana at their Friends-size apartment.
Kurt is insanely excited – and optimistic – about Blaine’s NYADA audition, helping him prepare by making him perform “Piano Man” at the diner. But Blaine isn’t so sure he’s a shoo-in, checking out “safety schools” like the highly competitive New York University and Ivy League Columbia University. In reality, wouldn’t, say, the significantly cheaper and closer Ohio State University in his hometown of Lima be more realistic?
After shaking off cold feet and questioning whether or not he should actually audition, Blaine supposedly nails the NYADA tryout. (We say “supposedly” because they don’t actually show him audition, which leaves open the possibility of a surprise down the line.)
‘My Junk Is As Big As a Car’
After he blows his Hunter interview, Sam tells Rachel his real dream is to be a model.
Why? Because it’s “the ultimate form of self-expression – like acting or singing, but all you have to perform with is your striking good looks and great abs.”
He’s always envisioned seeing his larger-than-life crotch streaking by him on the side of a bus. “Your junk is as big as a car!” a male passerby would exclaim while giving him a high-five. This dream has to become a reality, so Rachel sets up a Glamour Shots photo shoot for him.
As he works the camera as a nerd, a businessman and a cowboy – what, no firefighter? – Rachel tells him to “strip.” They then share a moment of attraction as she oils up his Photoshop-chiseled chest. Later, they dance together to “Just the Way You Are” while celebrating Blaine’s success, raising eyebrows between Kurt and Santana. Could this be a new couple alert? (And if so, what happened to Nurse Penny?)
With a newfound purpose in life and a set of headshots, Sam joins the House of Bichette modeling agency (pronounced “bitchette, like a mini-bitch,” according to Sam), where guest star Tyra Banks rules the roost as a no-nonsense agent.
The ‘Purple Mushroom’
Back in Lima, Artie sets out to help Becky pick a college – much to the chagrin of Sue, who doesn’t want her to ever leave McKinley.
When he learns that Becky thinks college is for “suckers,” he lures her to the auditorium for a rendition of “Honesty,” knowing deep down she’s just scared of change. Of course, Becky makes light of the situation by claiming he wants to show off his “purple mushroom.” (Ew.) But she soon admits she doesn’t want to leave McKinley because she’s afraid college kids will make fun of her. There’s an easy solution to all this: Artie’s found the perfect school that caters to Down syndrome students. Win-win. Well, except for Sue.
‘An Innocent Man’ vs. Jake Puckerman
Ever since he screwed up his relationship with Marley by cheating with Bree, “the real Jake Puckerman” has been rearing his head by flirting with all the ladies. Still, he finds time to leave flowers in Marley’s locker and beg for her forgiveness. Is his new Don Juan persona just a front for a broken heart?
Ryder sees this breach of their relationship as the perfect opportunity to insert himself, boldly asking Marley out in front of Jake while singing “An Innocent Man.” He sells himself by saying he has “good family values, I go to church, I’ve never been arrested, I’m not ugly, I can read, I get good grades and I think you’re the greatest girl in the history of the world.” Aw, they’re perfect for each other!
Or not – because, of course, Marley is still hung up on bad-boy Jake. But she agrees to go out with Ryder. While he’s seemingly head over heels, she tells him to cool his jets – it’s too “soon” for her to date again. Nice guys finish last, right?
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