Coen’s piece, published in the New York Times, focused first on third-party voters, especially Jill Stein supporters, for undermining Hillary Clinton’s presidential hopes.
“You helped elect a man who pledges that he will, in his first hundred days, cancel contributions to United Nations programs to fight climate change,” Coen wrote to Green Party supporters. “If your vote for Ms. Stein did not end up advancing your green agenda, it did allow you to feel morally superior to all the compromising schmoes who voted for Hillary Clinton. And your feelings about your vote are more important than the consequences of your vote.”
Coen also “thanked” Gary Johnson voters (“your libertarian agenda will now be advanced [or not] by someone who admires the governance of Vladimir Putin”), FBI director James Comey (“You had to bravely contravene bureau protocols to make your contribution“) and disgraced politician Anthony Weiner (“You also found a surprising way to contribute!“)
Coen’s op-ed itself spoofed Fallon’s reoccurring “Thank You Notes” gag, with the director taking aim at the late-night host over his Tonight Show interview with Trump that softened and humanized the candidate.
“How did you manage to shine a nonthreatening light on someone who alarms so many women, frightens so many undocumented families and slurs so many minorities? Can’t have been easy! Thanks,” Coen wrote. “Maybe now you could have the Grand Wizard on your show: He leans his head to you, you slip his hood off and ruffle his hair. Could be a cute bit!”
Coen was also critical of the media that gave equal coverage to Clinton’s largely benign email scandal as they did to Trump’s “pot-stirring racist lies about President Obama’s birth” and Trump’s “proposal that the military execute the innocent families of terrorists.”
After thanking the Electoral College and not thanking Clinton, Coen concluded by patting America on the back, “Because in the end, we all did it together. We did it! We really did it!”