It was a bad night for Team Clarkson on this week’s Duets, as her amateurs bombed worse than Rock of Ages during the singing competition’s “Movie Night.”
But while we’re not surprised mumbling shy-guy Jason Farol once again came in dead last on the chart, a small travesty occurred when pink-haired diamond in the rough Jordan Meredith found herself also dragging the bottom. In turn, viewers lost one of the more vibrant contestants just one week shy of the live shows and viewer voting (finally). Boo, Duets. Just boo.
Aside from that, we were swimming in the usual barrel of emotions, as Robin Thicke would say. But we avoided covering our eyes and ears in order to bring you this recap. Yes, we suffer so you don’t have to. You can thank us later. Or now.
1. J Rome and Jennifer Nettles
The urban chameleon continued his chart domination by performing “I Will Always Love You” from The Bodyguard. Call us Captain Obvious, but he’s clearly the one to beat. Then again, all bets are off once voting falls into viewers’ hands, as his mentor pointed out. Still, we think he’ll be just fine.
2. John Glosson and Jennifer Nettles
Yes, Team Nettles has officially steamrolled over everyone else and become the only one to avoid the bottom two week after week. Like J Rome, if this duo keeps singing as if they’ve known each other for ages, they’ll soar to the finals. Their only downfall was John’s voice was so fine-tuned and buttery smooth, Jennifer actually sounded a little pitchy while performing Titanic‘s “My Heart Will Go On.”
3. Bridget Carrington and John Legend
Rounding out the top three is the only woman with a shot in hell of winning. While “What’s Love Got to Do With It” (from the Tina Turner biopic of the same name) might have been a bit too nuanced for her voice, she did the song justice and looked great doing it, as usual. As an added bonus, John didn’t make an ass of himself like he did last week. No, that honor went to Robin this time around . . .
4. Olivia Chisholm and Robin Thicke
Thank God Robin looked pretty in his Travolta-esque leisure suit, ’cause he sounded like nails on a chalkboard while singing “Stayin’ Alive” from Saturday Night Fever. But that may have been Olivia’s saving grace from the bottom two, where she should have landed. We can only assume that Thicke’s disarming combo of good looks and alarmingly terrible falsetto distracted the judges from just how bad Olivia was with her consistently weak voice and vapid stare. Otherwise, we’re baffled about why they liked her so much. Oh, except for the fact that if she got knocked out Robin wouldn’t be performing on the live shows, because he’d have no one to sing with. Either way, we call shenanigans!
5. Jordan Meredith and Kelly Clarkson
“Take My Breath Away” from Top Gun did the exact opposite for Jordan when it came to the judges. As the only woman paired with another woman, she faced the difficult task of being directly compared to Kelly every week. But this performance posed an insurmountable problem: Singing an iconic love song to someone of the same sex (assuming, of course, they’re both straight). Robin’s biggest critique was he didn’t believe the two were in love. Well, duh.
6. Jason Farol and Kelly Clarkson
We’re not surprised Jason brought up the rear once again with this garbled, deer-in-headlights performance of “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge. He and Kelly were seriously disconnected, and he was about as emotionally attached to the song as a courtesan is to her clients. So why in the world did the judges gush over what a dynamic personality he has? We’re guessing they think his quiet demeanor and modest good looks will get the little girlies dialing the phone. In reality, though, his days are clearly numbered.
As the bottom two, Team Clarkson took on Team Clarkson during an a cappella face-off. This segment of the show just makes us wonder what these amateurs could have been, were they not overshadowed by their mentors. Unfettered by big-name talent (read: egos) and odd arrangements, these two stepped up and proved why they were in the competition in the first place. Maybe they should try out for American Idol next time.
Jason sang “Mamma Knows Best,” where his meekness worked in his favor when it came to such a stripped-down performance. Still, he mumbles his words and just isn’t “dynamic,” despite what the judges want us to believe. Then, in a bold move, Jordan picked “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going,” in which she hit some great notes and really shined.
Of the two, Jordan clearly should have stayed, as she’s got more personality and rock star potential. Plus, both her performances on the night were stronger and she’s shown greater improvement over the weeks. But the judges stupidly tossed her aside for Jason, who has been in the bottom two for four out of five weeks. You’re really not helping us like you, Duets.
Last week: Where’s the Party?