Chris Rock excelled at Sunday night’s BET Awards, with the comedian’s opening monologue earning the biggest laughs of the night. The comedian touched on some of the most prominent pop culture stories – from Solange and Jay Z‘s elevator fight to Rick Ross’ weight problem to disgraced Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling.
“Tonight you’re gonna see something you’ve never seen,” Rock said after walking onstage. “You’re gonna see black artists getting credit for something they created.” He then launched into his hilarious mini-stand-up set, first touching on the Solange-Jay Z incident. “Solange hit the right rapper,” Rock said. “Jay’s a businessman now – he can’t just go punching girls in the face! He got a meeting with Nabisco in the morning. She hit Blueprint 3 Jay Z. . . If she hit Reasonable Doubt Jay Z, that elevator would have been filled up with nothing but lipstick, blood and weave!”
After mentioning Dr. Dre’s $3 billion success with Beats by Dre headphones, Rock also notes a lesser-known product line founded by rapper Rick Ross: “Dia-Beats: the headphones that you put on swollen feet before you chop ’em off.” He also snuck in another jab, saying Ross will “be the first rapper to die of breast cancer.”
“Lot of excellent black movies, man,” Rock said, moving into the realm of cinema, “and some of ’em don’t even have Kevin Hart in ’em!” Rock also praised Oprah Winfrey’s performance in The Butler because she “had to act like she was poor.”
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And, of course, the comedian made an inevitable string of Donald Sterling jokes, somehow finding a fresh entry point on a topic that’s been riffed on to death in recent months. Rock says nobody should be all that surprised by the 80-year-old Sterling’s racist views considering “the first black man he ever met he got for Christmas.”
Rock also visited a monster truck rally, “the whitest place I could find,” to get their reactions to the award show (via Gawker). After sneaking in some “yee-haw”s, he quizzed a handful of deer-in-headlights individuals about their knowledge of BET and hip-hop. When asked who should win Best Rapper at the ceremony, two clueless folks suggest Eminem and Macklemore; meanwhile, when presented with a large cut-out of Rick Ross, one gentleman guesses he’s Mr. T. (Must have been the chains.)