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10 Worst Movies of 2014

From a less-than-amazing Spiderman movie to brain-dead Bayhem, we look back at the year’s cream of the cinematic crud

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Various images provided by Paramount Pictures, ©Lionsgate, ©Warner Bros., ©Summit Entertainment/Courtesy Everett Collection, Pure Flix Entertainment

So many movie duds, so little time. The problem with listing the worst movies of 2014 is stopping at 10. I began by flushing those turds no sane moviegoer would see in the first place. I, Frankenstein? Please! I followed by ignoring debacles that wilted in shame on the box-office vine. Paul Haggis, Oscar winner for Crash, how could you conceive something as ponderous as Third Person? And Matt Weiner, creator of Mad Men, I wanted to believe an imposter put his name on the abominable Are You Here?

Instead, my 10 picks for scum-bucket immortality are limited to box-office hits and critical darlings that some people deluded themselves into liking.

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‘The Expendables 3’

Sylvester Stallone, refusing to go gentle into the AARP night, drags his over-the-hill gang — now including Arnold Schwarzenegger, Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson — through their arthritic paces in the year's least probable and most desperate action movie. It's a bitch to watch the greats brought low. See it and weep.

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‘Transformers: Age of Extinction’

Thank you, Michael Bay, for never disappointing. The start of the second trilogy in your smash metalhead franchise exceeded even your own previous ineptitude and created a stench cloud over the global multiplex that no 2014 epic could match. Bay, you are The Man — a definition of "hack" for the ages.