This week: Two Netflix shows drop official trailers; Adam McKay’s vice-president biopic now not only has a name but a sneak peek filled with Big Dick (Cheney) Energy; another cryptic Overlord clip; and a look at Clint Eastwood’s late-breaking Oscar hopeful. All this, and Spider-Ham. That’s right. Spider-Ham.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Because one “Dark Archie” Comics show is simply not enough. Mad Men‘s Kieran Shipka is the girl “who’s half-witch, half-mortal” that, on the occasion of her Sweet 16, must choose a side. The supernatural stuff is cool, but those human boys are so dreamy! The xecutive producers of Riverdale are involved with this one, and judging from this trailer, the Netflix show looks like an in-sync companion piece to the CW hit. Cue up the hellscapes, Fifties pep laced with strychnine and that trio of mean-girl witches that have clearly watched The Craft at least a half-dozen times. It premieres Oct. 26th.
Daredevil, Season 3
So yes, Matt Murdock was feeling conflicted, then he began kicking the crap outta folks with impunity and less guilt, etc. — got all that. This trailer for the Netflix/Marvel show is really more concerned with one Wilson Fisk, a.k.a. the Kingpin, and his release from prison. (Vincent D’Onofrio really does have that glowering brute thing down pat.) Also more close-quarter hand-to-hand foghts and … an evil Daredevil doppelgänger? It hits the streaming service like a thrown nightstick on Oct. 19th.
Who better to smuggle your numerous kilos of uncut dope across the border than a kindly old man? Especially if it’s the dude from Gran Torino? Clint Eastwood’s new movie finds the 88-year-old once again doing double duty, directing and starring as a man who, judging from the trailer’s voiceover, was a failure to his family and his friends. Why, exactly, he agrees to move weight for what appears to be a cartel, we don’t rightly know — but we can say that a who’s who of folks (Bradley Cooper, Lawrence Fishburne, Dianne Wiest, Michael Peña, real-life daughter Alison Eastwood) are along for the ride. It looks intense and opens Dec. 14th.
You will not necessarily get any new details about this upcoming WWII-set horror movie beyond what we know — Allied soldiers land in European town, villagers are turning into what look like monsters due to some sort of Nazi superserum — but you will get more Wyatt Russell, an American G.I. injecting the drug and “mutating,” and a whole lotta hyperventilating pull quotes from bloggers who saw this at a recent genre film fest. [Weary sigh] We’re as psyched as the next knucklehead to see this, but still. It hits theaters Nov. 9th.
Finally, a glimpse at Taron “The Guy From the Kingsman Movies” Egerton as His Eltonness! This teaser — basically just a quick flipbook of images — shows you a handful of amazing vintage Elton John outfits, as well as triumph, tragedy, what looks like a few old-school musical numbers and, in one case, a crowd literally being levitated off the floor by John’s playing. “Based on a true fantasy,” which, ok. Coming to a theater near you in Summer, 2019.
Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
For those who have not been following the source material for this animated Spider-Man feature, that last word isn’t a joke. Apparently, there is a Spidey for every one of an endless series of dimensions, and somehow they’ve all ended up in the first Spider-Man’s dimension, and they all have to get back to theirs, yadda yadda yadda. Shameik Moore voices Miles Morales, the young man most likely to take over the webslinger No. 1 mantle; Mahershala Ali voices his dad; Jake Johnson, Nicolas Cage, Lily Tomlin, Hailee Steinfeld and Liev Schreiber bring their dulcet tones to the project as well. The big takeaway here: We now get to see John Mulaney’s “Spider-Ham.” Dec. 14th, people.
Finally, the Untitled Adam McKay Dick Cheney Biopic gets a name! Like us, you probably did a first-rate spit-take when you heard Christian Bale was going to play the former Vice-President of the United States. And like us, you’ll probably sit, slightly slack-jawed, as you watch Mr. Intense Method Actor Extraordinaire disappear behind facial prosthetics and a reptilian purr, giving you some serious Big Dick (Cheney) Energy. Sam Rockwell is Dubya; Steve Carell is Donald Rumsfeld; Amy Adams is Lynne Cheney. Adam “The Big Short” McKay is calling the shots. Merry X-Mas, everyone.