James Bond Movie Theme Songs, Ranked Worst to Best

From A-Ha to Adele, breaking down the franchise's legendary (and legendarily bad) opening numbers

22. 'The Man with the Golden Gun' (Lulu)

A fitting theme song for a Bond movie in which the villain is largely defined by the fact that he has a third nipple, 1974's "The Man With the Golden Gun" served as perverse proof that 007 was here to stay — if this laughable ode to Roger Moore's penis couldn't kill the spy franchise, nothing can. (Composer John Barry has even admitted that "It's the one [theme] I hate most.") Performed by Scottish singer Lulu, and chosen over an equally awful offering from Alice Cooper, the song snakes a porno guitar riff through a driving horn section that's doing everything in its power to distract from the words. "His eye may be on you or me/Who will he bang?/We shall see/Oh yeah!" Those lyrics are real. You can Google them.