5. 'Diamonds Are Forever' (Shirley Bassey)
Tight, layered, and suitably sharper than most of the franchise's other opening tracks, Shirley Bassey second crack at a Bond theme is perhaps most notable for being the franchise's least horny song ever. On the contrary, the singer rails against the impermanence of a good lover, as even those with stamina for miles can't last as long as a good rock on your finger. ("Men are mere mortals who aren't worth going to your grave for," she belts.) Ironically, producer Harry Saltzman considered the song to be objectionably sexual, presumably blushing at how Bassey's line that diamonds can "Stimulate and tease me" suggested that women were capable of feeling any pleasure that wasn't provided by a man. Right.