36. 'Planet of the Apes'
Tim Burton's remake of the Charlton Heston v. Damned Dirty Apes classic isn't quite as awful as its reputation would suggest. But Wahlberg is comically miscast as an astronaut stranded on a mysterious planet run by hyper-intelligent primates. His disgusted, quizzical expressions are certainly on-point; that's probably because he's wondering what the hell he's doing in this curiously half-hearted blockbuster. Things really get stupid when our hero has to give a rousing speech to the forces of good in their climactic face-off with the apes. If he's our last hope, humankind is screwed.