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Worst: 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' (2011)

Depp's career hasn't been the same since it crossed paths with Captain Jack Sparrow and went nuclear; the role at the center of Disney's action-comedy franchise essentially transformed the actor into a human license to print money. The most harmlessly blithering pirate in film history, Sparrow was first forged from Keith Richards' slur and Buster Keaton's divine clumsiness. By the time the woozy prince of the seven seas returned for his fourth adventure, however, his performance was less "perpetually drunk guitar god" than "man with a chronic inner-ear infection who's maybe a little too into cosplay." If you squint you could probably even find a grim irony to the fact that the plot puts Sparrow on a quest for the Fountain of Youth, but there's no need to look that hard for reasons why his yo-ho-ho turn here feels so damn old.