15 Best and Worst Johnny Depp Roles: From Scissorhands to Sparrow

'Black Mass' star's career highlights — and lowest of the lows

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Worst: 'Mortdecai' (2015)

"Sophistication has a name," the poster said — and in all fairness, it did not specify that it's name is "Mortdecai." The titular character of this recent embarrassment is an aristocratic art dealer and general miscreant, but his defining trait is the appalling twirl of a mustache that lies dead across his upper lip, forcing itself to become the subject of nearly every other line of dialogue (still, it's better than the things that come out of Mortdecai's mouth, such as when he propositions Gwyneth Paltrow by suggesting that he let her "Sink the Bismark"). Beneath the tonsorial monstrosity is Depp's trusty British accent, this time sounding as though it's been dipped in brandy.

Honestly though, you didn't see this movie — nobody did. So you have no idea whether one of the film's most painful scenes finds Mortdecai confusing a hotel key for a credit card, and citing it as a cause of the 2008 recession. Or if another drops in on Depp and Ewan McGregor spending a full five minutes in fancy leather chairs trying not to eat an explosively foul hunk of cheese. Consider yourself blessed, folks.

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