7. 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets'
From The Professional
to The Fifth Element, filmmaker Luc
Besson has shown the style and ambition to overcome his tin ear for dialogue and
create his own kind of visual nirvana. Not this time. Not by a longshot. Starring
a miscast Dane DeHaan as Major Valerian, a special-ops agent assigned to
maintain order in the universe, and a smirking Cara Delevingne as his way
ballsier partner Sergeant Laureline, this sci-fi fantasy – based on a series of
French graphic novels by Pierre Christin and Jean-Claude Mézières – drags on for
an interminable 137 minutes. Even zowie production design, better-than usual
3-D and a feisty cameo from Rihanna can't get you through the fog of this bore.