3. 'Fifty Shades Darker'
Gorgeous naked bodies writhing in ecstasy and getting off with the best sex toys money can buy. How do you make that dull? Step right up for the sequel to 2015's Fifty Shades of Grey, which somehow succeeds in being even more sanitized and sadistically dull. Jamie Dornan once again stars as billionaire Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson is back as Anastasia Steele, a digital magazine up-and-comer with a limited vocabulary and a willingness to let Christian spank her. If you thought these two actors looked embarrassed the first time they put on nipple clamps, you ain't seen nothing yet. (The talented Johnson deserves way better.) The bestselling E.L. James novels that both films are based on actually suggested there might be something to learn from what connects a dominant and a submissive. You won't find that in this film, which always finds it better not to think.