This past year, following the news was more exhausting than usual. Those in political power have finally melded reality TV and politics, and now each day lurches forward in nightmare time. Are we going to war with a country our leaders can't locate on a map? Will you lose your healthcare, and be forced to visit a disgraced former doctor running an ersatz clinic in the woods behind a Jiffy Lube? Welcome to a world where you can't tell what's a New York Times article and what comes from The Onion.
Yet despite the overall terribleness of 2017, it was actually a very good year for dumb crimes – the kind of In Cold Blood-brutality meets America's Funniest Home Videos-crassness that our country does best. Here's a quick roundup of most WTF crime stories of 2017 – at least those that happened outside the White House.