To coincide with the start of the NBA Finals, Jimmy Kimmel Live! has issued another all-b-ball installment of the show’s popular “Mean Tweets” segment. This time out, past and present stars like Magic Johnson, Reggie Miller, Steph Curry, Wesley Matthews, Blake Griffin, Jimmy Butler and more take on their toughest Twitter critics.
“I’m convinced Magic Johnson has approximately 73 teeth in his mouth,” recites the Lakers great, before flashing the pearly whites in question for the camera, while Jalen Rose stares quizzically at his phone and reads, “Can we make a special called ‘I Hate Jalen Rose,’ because I hate Jalen Rose.”
Tony Parker, meanwhile, is called a “French woman,” and Andrew Bogut “the infamous Big Foot.”
Beyond that, there are non sequiturs (“Jeremy Lin is worth probably a half jar of mustard pickles”) potential rap lyrics (“Jimmy Butler look so ugly bruh look like a face you put on a totem poll bruh lookin like a tiki mask bruh”) and plenty more shots at player’s looks and physiques, from “Draymond Green look like Donkey from Shrek,” to “DeAndre Jordan look like that uncle at a cookout that stick his fork in ya plate,” to “Zach Randolph is not so much IN basketball shape. Rather he IS a basketball shape.”
But the Clippers’ Blake Griffin probably gets it worst, ending the segment by reciting one particularly emphatic tweet: “GOODBYE BLAKE GRIFFIN YOU SOFT GINGER HAIR COLORED LINDSAY LOHAN FRECKLED FACE TWO HEADED BITCH TAKE YA ASS HOME BITCH.” To which Griffin replies, “Wow, all caps huh? Maybe you throw in some lower case next time.”
The Golden State Warriors defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers 108-100 in overtime to take Game 1 of the 2015 NBA Finals on Thursday night. Game 2 is set for Sunday, June 7 – plenty of time to get your tweets ready.