During a Wednesday appearance on Ellen, the Mamba channels his inner Allen Funt, taking part in a hidden-camera stunt in which he pranks an unsuspecting aesthetician (as if there’s any other kind) with tales of his very serious sweat problem. How bad is his supposed issue? Apparently bad enough to make Bryant a mockery in the locker room, where teammates bestowed him with nicknames like “Sir Sweats-A-Lot” and “Sweat Middler.”
With Ellen DeGeneres feeding him lines through an earpiece, Bryant proclaims, “I sweat. Like, a lot. I’m just drenched,” and says his sweat is so powerful that it actually drips up his body. Later, he laments that he’s tried to combat the problem with homemade Botox – made “out of old cans of tomatoes.” But, alas, that didn’t work.
“I’m so sad,” Bryant says. “The guys in the locker room made fun of me all the time. They would sing a song: ‘Sweaty Kobe, Okie Dokie.'”
Bryant also attempts to sell the aesthetician a Mason jar full of sweat from his final NBA game – “I was awesome,” he boasts – and hops around while humming a song in an attempt to get his glands going. Eventually, he lets her in on the joke, and gives her a hug to close the segment, adding “I’m not sweaty.”Kobe Bryant scored 60 points in his farewell NBA game. Watch here.